Sunday, October 01, 2006

business imitating art

i got an audition for a voice over for another obese person.
i better be careful!
or i'm gonna get typecast! This one had these specs:
Character: LISA
Female in her late 30s or early 40s
Positive and believable
There should be a certain vulnerability to her, because she's been through the trauma of being morbidly obese and undertaking the drastic measure of gastric bypass surgery
Overall, she needs to read like the lady next door.
Our morbidly overweight audience needs to identify with her and be motivated to action by her delivery
hmmm, you know, the likeable, vulnerable, believable lady next door who's very positive about the fact that she's so big she can't leave her own house?
We all know THAT lady!
My first pass at it sounded, the truth, like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs who, ironically, tried to fatten women up. (song from the musical...oh god!)
I'm still working on this whole voiceover thing. I really probably shouldn't be contacted about anything that shouldn't be made fun of. Or is trying to help people. Or sell things.

Now i have to record me saying " stone massage, please."
I've already tried 5 times, and can't get through it.


Anonymous Joe said...

Visit your local WalMart and study the vocals of "the greeter". Therein lies your pitiful voice.

12:43 AM  
Blogger ablebody said...

"my stomach is saying i should get staples to make it feel full when i'm nowhere near done eating...
oh fuck no it isn't.
i ate the radio."

5:32 AM  
Blogger andisheh said...

Start eating chicken while saying the lines. Nothing sounds fatter than chickenmouth.

3:56 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

ewwww. greasy, smacking chickenmouth.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Karaoke Follows said...

Breath through your mouth a lot. Like you're winded. Likeable, but winded.

9:43 PM  

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