Friday, June 20, 2008

moisten manapkin, inDEED!

This is a play-along.
Put yourself in my place as you read.
It will be more effective, i think, and render me more idiotic.

Today.
At a red light.
left hand on steering wheel.
Right hand holding cup of ice-cold lemonade.
straw in mouth.
Light turns green.
Completely release cup to move right hand to shift to first gear.
Straw stays in mouth.
Cup of ice-cold lemonade falls immediately.
of course.
flips 180 degrees during fall.
lands completely upside down on crotch.

lemonade saturates my underwear.
all i could repeat over and over again was, "WHO DOES THAT??! WHO DOES THAT?"

NOBODY was in the car to witness this.
This is the real crime.

4 Comments:

Blogger John J. said...

And of course you couldn't do that again if you were offered a $mil. Like the time I threw a crappy cell phone from the kitchen into the living room and it landed in the catbox. x_x

4:04 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

well, wait now. Ohhh, maybe you're assuming that because it landed upside down, that some lid kept the contents inside the cup.

That assumption would be the Ass/U/Me kind. cuz nope. Somebody had ripped that lid a new strawhole or something, cuz my crotch was DRENCHED.

11:41 PM  
Blogger John J. said...

I was wondering that.... you hadn't specified. :P

Still beats the time I was drinking a milkshake with no top and hit the brakes at a red light. x_x

4:23 PM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

In the future babies will have recording devices implanted in their skulls that record everything they experience. You will be able to go back and watch this stuff.

Also, the other day I was drinking a smoothie at the theatre's rehearsal space where we are absolutely NOT allowed to eat or drink. Keep in mind I am the improv director and am expected to enforce these rules. The smoothie was on the brand new air conditioner. I picked it up and dropped it onto the air conditioner. Fortunately I grabbed it before very much had come out, but the force of the drop and the insistence of fate caused the bottom to fall out of the cup depositing 95 percent of the smoothie all over the air conditioner. And everyone saw this. But it was a good example of why people aren't allowed to eat or drink in there.

4:42 AM  

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