Purim

Saw this story on NPR about the Jewish holiday of Purim.

Says that "The holiday, which begins Thursday and lasts until March 5, is one of the most joyous on the Jewish calendar and commemorates a time when the Jews of Persia were saved from extinction.

It is customary to hold carnival-like celebrations and beauty contests, to perform plays and parodies, and to feast and drink during Purim, which is sometimes called Jewish Mardi Gras."
And here's a diagram of how to make Hamantaschen that looks like something that has nothing to do with any kind of food or good time.

I mostly remember Purim as that time that our landlord upstairs, Barbara R. asked if we had any costumes she could borrow for a party her temple was giving for Purim. Costumes?!
Are you shitting me?
I have an entire separate wardrobe closet with costumes and wigs and such and whatnot.

So I said, "knock yourself out." Oh, and also can i borrow your oven later, cuz our's is not working."
"sure, come on up later when you need it, the basement door will be unlocked."

Well, I came on up later, with whatever it was that needed to be baked, knocked on the door which leads to her kitchen, and there is 50-something yr. old Barbara R., sitting at her kitchen counter, reading a magazine, wearing a basketball jersey i happened to randomly have, with some random letters that say something like "FYTCRBT" on it, or something.

And on her head, was not just an afro---oh no. Which would've been odd, and funny, and mind-boggling, and socially questionable enough.
It was an afro-wig that had been made into a VAGINA PUPPET. Big pink satin lips and giant googly eyes to boot.
"Ms. V" in fact, was her name. **

These latter features sat on top of Barbara's head, facing the sky.

"How do you---Do I have this thing on right?" she asked, as she tugged at and fussed with the vagina lips.

Barely conscious of the glass dish i was carrying, i somehow managed to not drop it, to not laugh, to close my gaping maw, to say "ahh, you--got it right, i think.", to put the dish in the oven, to get back down the stairs, to call leslie, and to then start screaming into the phone. Which i am sure she heard.
"Barbara has a vagina on her head! And I let her go to temple with it ---on her head! The vagina! Puppet! On her head! "

And that's what Purim means to me.

**Anne Dusenberry made it for a pretty hilarious sketch called The Puberty Sketch. You know who loved the puberty sketch? Hollis Gillespie, who'll be at Doug Dank tonight.