Monday, September 19, 2005

Big Lots -- redundant?

I don't know where the name came from, and I even took the time to try to google it. It used to be called Odd Lots, so not sure which is the stranger name.
I love Big Lots, except the checkout lines. You just have to make sure you're not in a hurry or a bad mood, because things will just go downhill fast if you are either.

I especially love that there are things in Big Lots that you have never seen in any other store. And never will.
The merchandise comes from manufacturers or vendors who reduce inventory as a result of package changes, canceled orders, product discontinuation or test-marketed products.
Marketing failures. I love it! The shelves at Big Lots serve as a reminder of poorly thought-through, awful ideas that groups of idiotic people sat around and got paid to think up.
This is going to be a list that I'd like to add to as I experience more of these oddities at Big Lots.

.A Nascar lighter, shaped like a car, but with candy in it, too--AND it's a keychain!
.Hair coloring conditioner, this is the stuff that "may cause blindness," and that requires the use of gloves (not included) and plastic cap (not included, not even sold separately) sold in the shampoo/conditioner section in a regular bottle. (I know this because I bought it and was using it in the shower, decided to read the back, and screamed, as it was running into my eyes and staining/stinging my hands)
.A box of Clearance items containing underwear and candy bars.

.Underwear. In the box with the candy bars. Aaand a candy bar. Only did that once, and they're not as good as the Big Lots bras, but man are they cheap. Great for those one-use needs and tear-away prop undies. They're also wonderful dipped in caramel for Halloween. What?
.Bras -- awesome! had them for years. And at $3.99, I couldn't afford NOT to buy them.
.Ethnic and Religious Greeting Cards -- at rock bottom prices. They're hilarious and great for any occasion.
.A box of Betty Crocker Gingerbread Mix that I think I thought was Betty Crocker choosing a "retro" box design, which was really just a really old box of gingerbread mix. That was funny. tasting.

.Scooby Douche
.Lil' Fingers brand Baby's First Personal Massager
.Do-it-yourself Home Chiropractic Kit
.Kim Possible brand hammock/Vietnamese spin-fuck chair
.Jergen's lotion - melonoma scented (misprint)(Discontinued)
.Power Puff Girls' Novelty Insulin Monitor
.Dr. Scholl's Victoria Principal gel cheek inserts
.Burt's Bees

Feel free to add your own here in the comments section....


Blogger rp said...

l heart big lots.

4:51 PM  
Blogger ablebody said...

Adjustable Shit

11:36 AM  
Blogger cruchic said...

G-Dub Bush wackers (read: Weed Wacker)

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Skip Huffman said...

What? The Nascar lighter did not include a bottle opener? No wonder it ended up at Big Lots.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous miss kendra said...

i'm just wounded to the core that you saw a nascar ANYTHING, never mind a combo-thing, and didn't snap it up for me.

5:46 PM  

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