Monday, January 01, 2007


this is going to be incredibly cliche, but.....
why tha Fuuuuuuuuuck would you bring an infant to a movie theatre. Can't find a babysitter? Don't go to the movies. Can't afford a babysitter? Can't afford a $8 movie. In the day time it's bad enough, but at night it's even worse.
TWO girls sat with each other with their babies, who cried.
During Children of Men.
Which works hard to create the scene and set the tone for a world in the near future that is totally without children.
The youngest person is 18.
It's bleak.
It's drab.
It's childless. Then there's fucking babies crying 10 rows behind me. Let's just say that this is total bullshit, and leave it at that.
Also a terrible idea and incredibly thoughtless? Dousing yourself with patchouli and sitting in incense before sitting in a crowded theatre. Thanks, bitches, you smell like Little 5 points was tossed in a dumpster full of dead hippies and matted dread locks and set on fire. Yes, I am that person, I guess. Seriously though...i'm not being unreasonable.
M. feel me, right?

Along the same lines:


Blogger Machinistscott said...

It's ironic, don't ya think?

4:22 PM  
Blogger Machinistscott said...

But we can all agree, It's all about the Woo-Woo.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Wednesday T. Guevara said...


I feel you, Mary. I have ranted about this at length elsewhere. Leave the babies at home, unless they are well-behaved enough to shut up. Parents know if their baby is a good baby or if it is a tyrant. Lying to onesself does nobody any good. Have a little courtesy.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Wednesday T. Guevara said...

Oh! And Happy New Year!

4:42 PM  
Blogger ablebody said...

as a former baby, i have to say some of my best baby times were screaming and puking at the movies.
y'know like the nyeve party last night. total flashback.
or total flashforward>????????!!??

10:14 PM  
Anonymous ape said...

As a child owner, I can honestly say I've never considered taking my baby to the movies. I go to the movies to escape all of the things that annoy me. Why would I bring those things with me? As a former movie theater employee, I can also say that all theaters have a standard policy regarding babies and other loud things: take it outside. If the kid cries for more than a couple seconds, the parents will typically be asked to leave the theater long enough to beat their child into silence. The only problem is that somebody has to walk into the lobby to complain, thereby missing some important moment of the film. You can also yell at the person. That usually gets them out of there. Maybe you could get up and sit behind them with your friends and start crying loudly until they get the point.

4:06 PM  
Blogger Overdroid said...

I don't know if I can support this Mary. I go to the theatre to find babies to eat. If There were no babies there I wouldn't know what to do. Maybe your problem is that you went to a theatre without a baby eating robot like myself. Although the parents DO make a lot more noise after I eat the baby.

Also, the whistling car thing is NOT good. I'm annoyed enough by FUCKERS who have their base blasting everywhere. My dad theorized that you should be able to build an electromagnetic gun that would blow out their speakers. I wish I had one of those.

5:56 AM  
Blogger ablebody said...

all your bass are belong to us.

7:21 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

re: 'all your bass...'
I like it!
of course, i had to look it up.
wed: "Parents know if their baby is a good baby or if it is a tyrant."
oh, yeah, they did. they just didn't care one tiny f-ing bit.
ape: you're exactly right, anything you do is going to make you miss more of the movie than if you just chilled the f out and watched it. but it really is almost impossible.
justice must be served!
overdroid: an electromagnetic gun, eh? i'm listening.... though we don't get much of that noise in Morningside, so, i'm pretty safe there...but i'm still listening....

10:21 AM  
Blogger Mulberry Panda 96 said...

Wha the fah? I made a comment here earlier this week, but it's not showing up. Have I been silenced the way I want to silence people at movie theaters?

6:46 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

hey, man, it never came through.

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you can wait say 16 years, those babies are going be teenagers. they are going to sleep until noon. but we (b/c i can totally hold on to my anger that longer & definitely transfer it to those 2 precious babies)can stand outside of their windows on Saturday afternoon with leaf blowers, lawn mowers and of course our lungs. We are loud you know. ~leighha

10:55 AM  

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