Saturday, October 18, 2008

News of the Weird, from, oh, about 10 years ago, i bet

i have kept a clipping from News of the Weird out of the Creative Loafing that i thought was HIlarious for, no joke, probably 10 years. maybe more? it keeeps showing up here and there, and i'll find a new place for it. a file folder. then years later, i'll toss that folder, but keep this torn-out piece of newspaper, and put it some place new. Well, it turned up yet again during our recent move. it's yellowed, and creased. and i STILL did not toss it out. WHAT grand day do i think this clipping has in its future, that i'm saving it for.

well, i'm going to type it in, word for word.
you'll see just how - funny - it is.

i'll take a picture of it.

you probably can't believe that it hasn't been even accidentally thrown away.
i've lost much more important stuff, that was in much better shape, and looked very official. but this--this sticks around.

then i'll throw it out---no, i'll recycle it, so that it might live on.
this is a suitable destiny for this fine piece of historical literature.

"In a February court hearing in Norristown, PA, attorney Charles Peruto, Jr. was in the process of arguing that his client, accused of selling drugs, was entitled to a low bail because he was not likely to flee before his trial. At that moment, however, the client, Howard "Wing Ding" Jones, bolted from the courtroom and led deputies on a one-hour chase before he was recaptured."

see? every time i re-read it, though, i'm like -- that is funny as shit. and i'm glad i read it. again.

and here is its final hurrah, before my cat, gilbert, shreds it apart. goodbye ridiculous Weird News clipping, goodbye.


Blogger Robert Cass said...

I love News of the Weird. I bet a lot of screenwriters and comedy writers get ideas from that column. Because you can't make most of that stuff up on your own.

6:55 PM  

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