Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Burt Reynolds done lost his got-dammm mind.

Well, on second thought, I guess he's always been a little fucked up. But don't take my word for it, just ask Loni.

But in 2003, he went from closet violence to putting it on a stage. Literally. Sean Daniels and Lucky Yates of Dad's Garage Theatre were hosting the Gala Awards Ceremony to launch the IMAGE Film and Video's Atlanta Film Festival of that year. As comic emcees, as I understand it, they made a comment or 10 about a number of things/celebrities, but apparently one they made about Keanu Reeves and Brad Pitt just hit Burt the wrong way. So he decided he needed to hit something the right way. When Burt took the stage, he attacked the PUPPET, Phineas J. Monkey that Lucky was puppeteering, and began punching and choking it. As Keith Hooker says, that's 10 lbs of crazy in a 5 lb. bag.

So, just recently, he slapped a CBS news producer in the face,
on camera, on the red carpet at the New York screening for the
remake of The Longest Yard.

Weirder than all that is a page I ran across while looking for a Burt
Reynolds picture. Celebrity recipes on Frank DeCaro's website. Of particular interest is Liberace's
Sticky Buns, Dinah Shore's Red Snapper, and Bea Arthur's Good Morning Mushroom-Tomato Toast. Burt's is a Beef Stew, complete with a "few dashes MSG." Side effects of MSG include headaches, nausea, flushing, abdominal pain and asthma, occurring from one to 14 hours after ingestion. Oddly enough, I've experienced some of the same effects just MINUTES after watching many Burt Reynolds movies. (ba-doom boom)

Some of the recipes are pun-laden, in bold, according to the celebrity and their particular character-traits or lifestyles (see Rock Hudson's Cannoli), then others that you'd imagine would and should be descirbed the same way are not, like Rosie O'Donnell's Marshmallow Mud Squares, Paul Lynde's Diet Waffles, Vanna White's Layered Pea Salad, Rip Taylor's Roll-Ups, and Frank De Caro's Head Cookies--which is just about its own punchline.

I can't stress enough how odd this last recipe page is, and how much you should look at it.


Blogger cruchic said...

What a great site. Jeez! It's comedic gold.

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Liberace's Sticky Buns"

...can't breathe...oh god! straight to the twisted visual part of my brain...ack!


3:42 PM  

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