Sunday, October 19, 2008

What if...

I found this notebook with all of these "what if" things i used to write. a looooooong time ago.
examples:
what if:
...you wanted your remains to be scattered across your favorite beach, just not necessarily to be cremated first.

...you had a long list of funeral requests, like, to be cut into pieces, dried into jerky, then frozen, then in the year 2028, thawed, and cremated.

...everyone just had 1 BIG big toe.

...when you died you wanted to be cremated, then mixed with "Cremora," then stored in creamers at a creamery.
(alternate..)
...cremated, mixed with "Cremora" and served with coffee to the people at the funeral.

...Roach motels weren't laced with poison, but rather just had extremely shallow swimming pools with diving boards.


Wow.

Pretty bad.

3 Comments:

Anonymous N.Bumpercar said...

I believe that you just unearthed what - in the business - is often referred to as gold.

Comedy gold.

Or at least - just - stunning insight?!

5:11 PM  
Blogger Jerell said...

One big toe on each foot...uni-toe feet? sandals will be obsolete.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Robert Cass said...

"what if ...you wanted your remains to be scattered across your favorite beach, just not necessarily to be cremated first."

That made me laugh. People act like they don't enjoy finding human remains on the beach, but they do. A finger here, a torso there, like in "the morning after" scene at the beginning of "Jaws."

12:38 PM  

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