Careful what you wish for, dig?
Acting jobs have been, let's say, elusive and illusive lately. Thus, I'm broke. I don't even have the excuse of there BEING no auditions, or no jobs, rather--I've been going on auditions, plenty of them, using up headshots (that need to be updated, as soon as I can afford them, which I can't do til I can afford a good haircut) and getting more photos printed which costs money in and of itself.
Then this week everything just got tossed in a giant turd fire which was Wednesday/Thursday. Early Wed. morning--a job at Chik-fil-a HQ as a pathetic woman applying for a job---she wants to quit her current job at McDoogan's (?) nights/weekends for a day schedule at Chik-fil-a (?) to get away from working with teenagers who get on her nerves and make her lose her temper. The whole thing is to train new store operators in how to interview potential employees. They don't know we're actors, and most don't figure it out til the reveal at the end, where they sometimes give us a...standing ovation....
Here's a small sample:
"I see here you like to read, Alice, what do you like to read?"
"Magazines. People, Us, that kind of thing. And the bible. Oh, and there's this great writer named Mary Kraft, have you heard of her? No? You will." (I seriously say this)
Just once I'd love to actually say, "Brian Greene's 'The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time and The Texture of Reality.' What are you reading?"
"Do you have any questions for us?"
"Yeah, do I have to pay for my uniform?"
"I see here you worked at Dairy Queen for 4 years. Tell me about some things that you considered challenges on your shifts."
"Well, for starters, the peanut buster parfait is a real nut-cranker" -- i don't say this, but it's just about that bad. "The teeeenagers really are ----well, they're hard to keep focused and they just--- get on my nerves."
Really sad, Alice Greenly, with her GED and typing/clerical certificate from Broward Vo Tech. Poor girl. It's a little easier to do now that I smartened her up just a bit, made her a closet lesbian, and justify her lack of education as stemming from her having to stay at home to attend to an ill parent during high school, and her siblings are all good-for-nothings (non-Christians)....fucking teenagers!
But that was Wednesday that started at 6:30am. Then off to two auditions, spur of the moment. Neither are things I really want--one being a live trade show that lasts 4 days, including one of those party-walk-around meet-and-greets that steal actors' souls.
Of course I hear today that it's down to me and one other person for this. Of course.
Broke and bitching about work. Charming.
The second one is a local low-budget SAG film for a part of a girl whose father molested her. Holla. Lovely.
Then I drive up to Duluth for an industrial for a Target anti-union video---starting at 10:00PM. At 4:30 I get finished. Which means getting to sleep at 5:30 AM. Then getting up at 7:00AM to go to a shoot for some ad or something for some new damn all baby programming channel at 8:00AM. Finish about noon, then off to another audition for something I'd like to do, a simple enough commercial that pays well--and I have a stupid awful audition because my brain is sloshing around in my skull at this point. Broke and bitching about auditions. Awesome.
It's 11:30 PM, and I've now had 1 1/2 hours sleep in like 41 hours. And I'm typing this stupid crap in here, my makeup from today, smeared on my eyes.
God knows, I need the money, but going a while without work---I hate the desperate feeling I get, and the slightly unctious way I start talking to the agents, and my overly anxious way of accepting any damn job that comes my way, even if it means staying up for 41 hours.
Maybe I'll go back to school and be an archaeologist? Do some digging. That sounds good right about now. Dig?
Then this week everything just got tossed in a giant turd fire which was Wednesday/Thursday. Early Wed. morning--a job at Chik-fil-a HQ as a pathetic woman applying for a job---she wants to quit her current job at McDoogan's (?) nights/weekends for a day schedule at Chik-fil-a (?) to get away from working with teenagers who get on her nerves and make her lose her temper. The whole thing is to train new store operators in how to interview potential employees. They don't know we're actors, and most don't figure it out til the reveal at the end, where they sometimes give us a...standing ovation....
Here's a small sample:
"I see here you like to read, Alice, what do you like to read?"
"Magazines. People, Us, that kind of thing. And the bible. Oh, and there's this great writer named Mary Kraft, have you heard of her? No? You will." (I seriously say this)
Just once I'd love to actually say, "Brian Greene's 'The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time and The Texture of Reality.' What are you reading?"
"Do you have any questions for us?"
"Yeah, do I have to pay for my uniform?"
"I see here you worked at Dairy Queen for 4 years. Tell me about some things that you considered challenges on your shifts."
"Well, for starters, the peanut buster parfait is a real nut-cranker" -- i don't say this, but it's just about that bad. "The teeeenagers really are ----well, they're hard to keep focused and they just--- get on my nerves."
Really sad, Alice Greenly, with her GED and typing/clerical certificate from Broward Vo Tech. Poor girl. It's a little easier to do now that I smartened her up just a bit, made her a closet lesbian, and justify her lack of education as stemming from her having to stay at home to attend to an ill parent during high school, and her siblings are all good-for-nothings (non-Christians)....fucking teenagers!
But that was Wednesday that started at 6:30am. Then off to two auditions, spur of the moment. Neither are things I really want--one being a live trade show that lasts 4 days, including one of those party-walk-around meet-and-greets that steal actors' souls.
Of course I hear today that it's down to me and one other person for this. Of course.
Broke and bitching about work. Charming.
The second one is a local low-budget SAG film for a part of a girl whose father molested her. Holla. Lovely.
Then I drive up to Duluth for an industrial for a Target anti-union video---starting at 10:00PM. At 4:30 I get finished. Which means getting to sleep at 5:30 AM. Then getting up at 7:00AM to go to a shoot for some ad or something for some new damn all baby programming channel at 8:00AM. Finish about noon, then off to another audition for something I'd like to do, a simple enough commercial that pays well--and I have a stupid awful audition because my brain is sloshing around in my skull at this point. Broke and bitching about auditions. Awesome.
It's 11:30 PM, and I've now had 1 1/2 hours sleep in like 41 hours. And I'm typing this stupid crap in here, my makeup from today, smeared on my eyes.
God knows, I need the money, but going a while without work---I hate the desperate feeling I get, and the slightly unctious way I start talking to the agents, and my overly anxious way of accepting any damn job that comes my way, even if it means staying up for 41 hours.
Maybe I'll go back to school and be an archaeologist? Do some digging. That sounds good right about now. Dig?
posted by maryk at 11:18 PM
1 Comments:
Photos: Stacey Bode did a wonderful job with my new ones, plus she's a lot of fun to work with.
Connie, at Cutzoo over by Rainbow grocery, does a great job and is not too expensive. Her English is "iffy" but she's smart and she loves it when you bring in one of your headshots and say, "Do it that way."
Sorry for the acting/money drought. Scary.
Josie
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