Sunday, January 15, 2006

Moving on

I've wasted enough time and energy on The Book of Liz. It's time to waste time and energy on other things. Although, I must say, Rachel B., when I saw your name on the comment list, I had a mini-stroke cuz I thought it was Rachel Craw from the show. Yikes! Even though I had good things to say about her, I guess I shouldn't write the bad things on the internet if I don't want everyone to see it.
Jesus, I'm already back on the damn play!

Moving on.
My New Year's Resolution is to smoke more pot.
Hear me out---and drink less beer.
But the year's getting older and so am I and I'm not really any closer to achieving my goal. Shit, last night alone I drank my January's alotment of beer. Now I'm gonna have to borrow from February.
So, let's all work together on this one and really dig our heels in and make this happen.
I know we can do it, IF we do it together.
I find the best goals are the easily attainable ones that other people help you attain.

(click photos for articles)

So, let's have a code word, or code phrase, so when we're together we'll know it's time to help Mary achieve this goal--how about..."Owww! My eyes hurt!"

See, that was easy.

Owww! My eyes hurt!

wink. wink---OWW!


Blogger ablebody said...

the early jazz greats called it tea. some call him fred green. dope has been used to reference many illicits. the name pot comes from the TGIFridays appetizer pot stickers. a reefer means just that, one who reefs. grass is one of three things that'll get you a ride (ass and cash follow, in that order). mary jane, mary worth, mary todd lincoln. and finally if anyone asks 'what would you do for a klondike bar?' the answer is always 'smoke a big hog leg, my leige.'

10:55 AM  
Anonymous clunky said...

You, Mary, are the third person within the span of a week who has told me of that exact same New Year's resolution. The other two were my bosses....

anyway, I always "check the hockey scores."

2:06 PM  
Blogger maryk said...

I bet it's our similar ages that account for the timing of these resolutions. It's quick and it leaves you by the end of the night. Not to mention all of the other great benefits.

6:24 PM  
Blogger rp said...

I think your resolution is a fine one. It may even end up less expensive than beer and wine. On one point, I have to disagree, with ablebody on the three things that'll get you a ride. Gas gets you a ride first, ass second, grass third. All of the rest of ablebody's info is absolutely one hundred percent correct. He got his information from An Unofficial History of Pot (or, how the bubonic went from tonic to chronic in the blink of a bloodshot eye). You can find it on amazon or you can check out a copy at your local library. TMYK.

10:56 PM  
Blogger mike said...

Herb is much cheaper
Say you buy a 1/4 for $50
there's about 8 spliffs in that
costing you about $6 each
More than the price of a vodka tonic?
But consider how many drinks you put away in one night (let's use Tuesday for example). 5 drinks is typical for me on a week night at the bar. 5 drinks are what is needed to put a little swerve in you/me, ok only me but hey I'm writing this. At $4 per drink you have spent $20, not to mention the tip or cheese fries.
If you were to subtittute 1 spliff ($6) for those 5 drinks ($20) every night for a week you have saved $98 dollars.
(This equation does not account for any late night chinese delivery.)
Good Luck and God Speed the Black Emperor.

11:47 AM  
Blogger maryk said...

Look at all this math and logic! And they say potheads are brainlazy.
Now if we could just turn all this talk into joints!
I'm going to get a wiretap on my blog i just know it. (fingers crossed)

10:55 AM  
Anonymous clunky said...

Potheads are always eager to justify their filthy habit with archaic statistics and fuzzy mathematics. Enjoy your doobies you criminals.

2:47 PM  

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