resolutin'

i was just applying some whitening strips in the bathroom, and taking a good hard long... look at myself in the mirror, when my new year's resolutions came to me. Well, two of them, at least.
so i fired up the computer just to put these here.

1) Find better tax shelters

and

2) get my eyebrows waxed more often.

Happy New Year's!
Let's hope 2008 doesn't suck a big one like '07 did.

more vonnegut, and another reason to hate Fox News

"By the late 70's Vonnegut was rich and irrelevant."

"...too much of a "leftist" to be part of "The Pantheon of Great American Writers"

vonnegut

Slampsberg Action News 5 Holiday News Action 5

Anchor Laurie Knight-Dey, weather with Becky Beckerson, and Rocky Emerson on the Slampsberg sports beat.

Featuring Milo Kane's* legendary candy canes.




* not Rip Torn's mugshot photo**


** it is.

Merry Christmas, chugnuts!

Here's what the ATL 30306 is experiencing:

A steady rain early...then remaining cloudy with a few showers. Snow or sleet may mix in. Low 34F.

SNOW OR SLEET MAY MIX IN!!?

hells yeah.

Holiday Danks!

2 exciting nights of Doug Dank in one week!

First, we will be doing a show the day after Christmas, Wednesday 26th at our regular Wednesday night time slot when Steven Westdahl is our guest monologist. The Reverend Steven Westdahl has been an Atlanta-based artist and performer for 13 lucky years.

Then come out for the annual New Year's Eve show and party Monday, December 31st at 10pm. A $35 ticket includes food, booze, show, and party to follow. If you'd like a free way in, just email Diane May to sign up for a volunteer slot. If you just can't make it out to the show, we'd still love to see you at the afterparty. CORRECTION: Show up anytime after 12:00 to ring in the New Year and dance the night away with us for a much reduced price.

Wednesday, December 26th at 10pm

Guest Monologist :
Steven Westdahl

As a founding member of Collective Works, Steven has stuck his finger into the Wide Open Beaver Festival, honored the deaths of Hunter S. Thompson and Robert Anton Wilson, and taught school as a tenured professor of the Invisible College. Plus! He and I are like always at like 96% on all those facebook likeness tests!! so, that's why you should come out. ?? come out!

Monday, December 31st at 10pm


Guest Monologist :
Mike Brune

He was the star of BloodCar. He is the Writer/Director of The Adventure. And he just may be the hardest working improvisor in Atlanta. Mike Brune's latest short film, The Adventure was recently accepted to the Rotterdam Film Festival where he will be heading in early 2008.

Prodigal Son Returns to Dank!

Steve Yockey is a member of Atlanta's Out of Hand Theater. His projects with the company include HELP! (2 runs in Atlanta and a slot in the 2005 New York International Fringe Festival) and Cartoon (7 Stages, Atlanta, GA and Impact Theatre, Berkeley, CA). After a run at Vital Theatre Company in New York, Steve’s play Bright.Apple.Crush. won the 2007 Samuel French Off-Off Broadway Play Festival and will be published in two forthcoming collections. He is a regular fixture at Dad's Garage Theatre Company in their annual 8 1/2 X 11 Festival series including: Stop Motion (2004), Swallow (2005), Snuff Film (2006) and Sucker Punch (2007). Dad's Garage also produced the World Premiere of Sleepy, a work commissioned to inaugurate their new Top Shelf Series in 2005, and the adults-only Skin, which closed a sold-out, extended run in March 2007 - both directed by Artistic Director and TCG Board Member Kate Warner. After a workshop in the Magic Theatre’s 2007 NEW VOICES WEST series, Actor’s Express in Atlanta, GA will present the World Premiere of Steve’s new full-length Octopus in Jan/Feb 2008 at the King Plow Arts Center. In addition to his work for stage, Steve also scripted the short films Medusa, Cake, Sucker Punch and the feature Salvage.

Steve is a Phi Beta Kappa, Summa Cum Laude graduate of the University of Georgia. He is currently enrolled in the MFA Dramatic Writing Program at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts.

This is his 3rd or 4th monologist appearance, come see why!

PushPush Theater.
10pm
5$
Wednesday.
The Doug Dank Project.

well i managed a couple non-dank posts!

Deck the Halls with Doug Dank!
Wednesday December 12th, 10pm at PushPush Theater!

We are excited to welcome back Creative Loafing Editor Ken Edelstein as the guest monologist this week. He's been one of our favorite monologists since the beginning; so if you haven't had a chance to catch him you should definitely come out.

Guest Monologist :
Ken Edelstein
Ken is the Editor for Creative Loafing. The furthest he has been from Atlanta is the panda reserve in Chengdu, China, where a man who spoke no English apparently mistook him for a zoologist and allowed him to pet one of them furry little critters. The hair was soft.

Might I suggest

Hot Yoga?

Have you done it?
you should.
Does it sound terrible to you?
well, of course it does!

doesn't matter.
try it.
don't drink the night before.
don't eat an hour or two before you go.
do it.
try.
you'll feel the best you've felt in a long, long time.
It's NUTZZZ.

Why not try it for FREE.
Decatur Hot Yoga on Tuesdays at 9:30am, downtown decatur, just before taqueria.
Tiffany Morgan co-teaches this class.
All it costs is a donation of a dollar or several which goes to charity.
If you don't have a mat, rent one for $1.
bring a big towel, a small towel, and a water.
But don't show up this week.
They're renovating.
But go next week.

2 things that happened today

1) I was driving and saw "Dumpling" written on a van. As i was trying to figure out why dumpling would be on a van, i realized the word i was looking at was actually "Premium." ?? As i was trying to figure out how i could possibly have mixed those two up, i ran over an orange pylon.

2) I was in Kroger, and a girl walking in front of me had a belt that had "BEAVER" written across the back in big letters. I double checked. It did actually say "BEAVER." As i fumbled to locate my cell phone to take a picture of this, my giant booted foot kicked a wire rack knocking 5 bags of Sun Chips into the aisle. After picking them all up, i lost the beav.

This is my blog post for today.