Thursday, November 29, 2007


Band-aid innovation hasn't advanced much in proportion to the rest of medical science.

Particularly in areas of:

* band-aid stickability to bendy body/digit parts
* amount of paper trash generated by one goddamned bandaid.

My opinion?
They've been focusing too much on what cartoon characters to put on bandaids.
and where are the adult swim bandaids?

Now, i haven't tried the second skin-type liquid bandaid, but i refuse to believe it is that great if plain old bandaids are still around and sold by the gajillions.

I'm Andy Rooney now.

ya know? people, with great reason, make so much fun of Andy Rooney, but really he's kinda just been videoblogging for years and years.

Monday, November 26, 2007

"Danksgiving" concludes with a show and afterparty!

Hey there PushPush pals!
This Wednesday November 28th at 10pm, the month of "Danksgiving" concludes with a show and afterparty that benefits an extremely important charity to us: PushPush Theater. As a non-profit theater, PushPush has selflessly provided a home to countless up-and-coming artists over the past ten years, and it's time to say thank you. After all, where would so many of us be without PushPush? Our GREAT friend and host Tim Habeger will put himself and his past out there for the sake of the theater. So come have a laugh at his expense. Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Then stay for a Danksgiving celebration! There will be music for dancing (provided by Baby Courageous) and loads of cheap beer for drinking ($1 keg drafts until the sun comes up).

*Tickets are raised to 10 dollars for this evenings show. But that will go a long way to help PushPush. (If you truly CAN'T afford the price of admission, please come out to the show with a slip of paper that has "DEADWOOD" written on it and you can help out the theatre for the regular 5 dollar ticket price.)
**Can't make the show? Come out for the afterparty and celebrate with us.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Lila Ross' Kuntry Kitchen on Slamps Access Channel 13

F*@$ Rachael Ray.

Lila and her daughter Genie walk you through Thanksgiving dinner, step by step, day by day. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Yes, it really was a real phone call. Yes, it was the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

Check back at Simpson and Snatch: Houseboat Party for the next installment. What Chemistry!
New episode every damn weekday.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hosea Williams, Doug Dank and Neal Hazard Feed The Hungry

This Wednesday, 10pm at PushPush Theater.
All proceeds of the show go to Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry for the HUGE Thanksgiving Dinner for those who would have none.

Guest Monologist :
Neal Hazard (local Atlanta actor)
You've probably seen Neal onstage in Atlanta at one time or another. Or perhaps in his guest starring role on Tyler Perry's House of Payne as Dr. Seymour Reardon. Doug Dank bartender Mary Kraft has known him for YEARS! It's a funny story, ask her about it. Well, it's not terribly funny, but. ...

*Since everything is going directly to charity, ticket prices will be $10 in the month of November.

Here's Neal's bio:
Neal Hazard-has lived in GA now for the past 10 years. He originally comes to the big Peach by way of Providence, R.I.

His most recent performances include Suzan Lori-Parks award winning play 'Topdog/Underdog' {Booth}, Toni Morrison's, 'The Bluest Eye' {Cholly} for which the cast is nominated for a Suzi Bass award for the best ensemble and Eddie Levi Lee's 'Charm School' {Rob}.

Neal has also had a guest starring role on Tyler Perry's House of Payne as Dr. Seymour Reardon (who is really Dr. Martin) who is assigned to perform a .....uh hum, colonoscopy on Pop. {LeVan Johnson}

Neal is also the writer/actor for the short film AM SESSION which was recently voted a top 5 finalist at HBO'S Short Film Festival in Los Angeles, CA. Although not winning the grand prize, AM SESSION will be seen on HBO in February 2008.

Neal's favorite scene partner, whether on stage/camera or off is his wife Michele McCullough Hazard. This past October 1st, they celebrated 2 years of marriage and ...uh hum, she's featured in Gee's Bend at Theatrical Outfit running from Nov. 7th to Dec. 2nd. (She said if I didn't mention it, then we'd have problems. You don't want to see her angry!)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Turkey Hunting with Simpson and Snatch

It's tough, but the convenience of fresh or frozen pre-killed turkeys hasn't made it to Slampsberg grocery stores yet. one of these days..... in the meantime:

And for all previous episodes, PLUS awesome Thanksgiving week episodes with Lila Ross' Kuntry Kitchen, go to Simpson and Snatch: Houseboat Party. New episode every damn weekday.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

24: The Unaired 1994 Pilot

Jack Bauer saves the world with AOL 3.0

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

A month to give Danks

It's November and it's time once again for Danksgiving!

Danksgiving is the month long charity drive where each week 100% of the proceeds from the show will go directly to the charity of the guest monologist's choice. 100%! Last year The Doug Dank Project raised over 2500 dollars for various charitable organizations. With your help, we can raise even more money this year.

If you would be so kind, this is a great email to forward on to friends/family.

they can mark the shows they can/want to come see. We would love your help in spreading the word. ....maybe just take out the obscenities i added to rene's original clean email. why i gotta add assholes to things?!

Schedule of Guests and Charities for Danksgiving:

November 7 - Tommy Housworth (local writer/actor) - Benefit for Girl Fight Club (healthcare fund for local cancer survivors) You've probably seen ONE of his previous appearances. Tommy is a great, poignant and funny storyteller. It's a night full of kicking cancer in the assholes. yes, plural. ??

November 14 - Hollis Gillespie (award winning syndicated humor columnist) - Benefit for The Max Beck Family (healthcare fund for local family) You've read her column in creative loafing for years, right? FUNNY. Touching. tickles, even. Did you see her previous doug dank appearance?? it-was-pretty-awesome. she's very good on stage. got to see it.

November 21 - Neal Hazard (local Atlanta actor) - Benefit for Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry. You've probably seen Neal onstage in Atlanta at one time or another. I've known him for YEARS! it's a funny story, ask me about it. wait, it's not THAT great. but if you wanna ask, ask. COME OUT!

November 28 - Tim Habeger (Artistic Director, PushPush Theater) - Benefit for PushPush Theater (award winning local theater) To round out the month, our GREAT friend and host Tim Habeger will put himself and his past out there for the sake of the theater. The space is home to so many 'homeless' artists, and it's time to give back. Where would we be without PushPush?!

Ticket prices this month are raised to 10 dollars. And all of it goes to charity.

The Doug Dank Project

Wednesdays at 10pm

PushPush Theater