Wes Anderson

it's an ad, i know. but it's so good i can pretty easily forget that. i'm not getting an american express card anytime soon.
This is probably one of those "welcome to the internet, Mary" moments, but it was new to me this morning when i saw it on on the towns.

the smoke was too loud.
can i get my snack? you're eating it.

can't believe what people give away

Saw a book at the Salvation Army. Didn't buy it, though it was ALMOST worth a joke purchase.
"Another winner for Ellen Hart." ??
The first in a series of books featuring "Jane Lawless, lesbian sleuth."
I'm thinking maybe a tv show, combining the lesbian-restaurateur-sleuthing talents of Jane Lawless, and the lawless drunkenness of Simpson and Snatch: Unlicensed, Assistant Private Investigators.
HBO?
Huh? Huh?
Comedy Central?
Well, FOX.
Ok, UPN?
....PAX. How about PAX?

Sabado Gigante, and that's our final offer.



Cherry pie, above, I guess.
Too much?
I hope there are many comments on that picture.
And the title.
And the salt shaker.

Ralph Reed -- because evangelism trumps sanity

Sure enough, when I went home to Savannah recently? Ralph Reed signs on the entrances to both of my brothers' subdivisions--as well as all over town.

See? SEE?!
That's why I make the face I make, and I involuntarily give a moments' hesitation in responding when anyone says, "You're from Savannah? Ohhhhh, I loooove Savannah!"
It is nice to look at, but once you scractch the surface, eewww. and Scary.

Maybe that's harsh.

clip from new sarah silverman tv show?

Apparently this is a Comedy Central pilot, written by Dan Harmon (this sketch, anyway, but he gets no mention on imdb) and directed by Rob Schrab.

Chipmunk Season is Alive and Thriving

The chipmunks, not so much.

I'm starting a count.
Already we're at 3 and 2 halves.
1/2 = injured, but got away. Outlook not bright for injured, slow small critter who banks on his darting zig-zag maneuver.

Another Great Dank

If you missed it, I'm talking to you.
Next week, Alex Orr of Fake Wood Wallpaper Films.

Doooooug Dank.

To Do list for last weekend

drive to north georgia late at night: check

tear window screen in spastic rocking chair incident: check

celebrate New Year's Eve: check

fall through and demolish wooden outdoor bench: check

set plate precariously on edge of wicker chair arm: check

flip plate off of wicker chair arm in a spastic motion: check

make sure plate is broken: check

Is it New Year's Eve, again? already?: check

give kitchen table some quarter dents for character: check

swipe arm across table to clear of extraneous pint glasses: check

sweep pint glass bits from floor: check

wash beautiful red towel with boring white towel: check

hang new stunning pink towel prominently on rack instead of folding and stowing for a less incriminating discovery: check

I think we had a pret-ty, pret-ty sucessful weekend. Everyone pitched in, how often does that happen?

Snap!

From Post Secret:

for those not on myspace

i salute you, with ...this....
This Wednesday, the 12th, and every Wednesday, at Push Push Theatre in Decatur!
Cheap beer, good stories, great improv, hot cookies*, crunchy delicious girls**, $5 admission to the coolest show in town. ***

Go here for more info and some added videos.
Show starts at 10:00pm, lasts 45 minutes. You can do this!

This week's monologist is Jay Carlson (theplug.net, gushparty.com -- hilarious writer). It's worth $5 just for that, but you get so much more.
Next Wednesday's monologist, Steve Yockey, then Alex Orr of Fake Wood Wallpaper Films, and Jamie Warde: technical director at Dad's Garage Theatre, Hunter S. Thompson-uber-fan, one of my just plain ole favorite all-around nice guys who makes every night "New Year's Eve!"

*guaranteed
**not guaranteed
***though i realize that by calling it cool, it intrinsically loses some of its coolness.

strange freecycle offer

Subject: OFFER: Full size poster of Einstein
We got it secondhand. Has a 1" puncture around his knees that can be taped. Pick up midday Sunday in the Oakhurst area or Tuesday evening in L5P.

Update! TAKEN: Einstein Poster

Though this one still isn't as good as the one that said:
OFFER: "Oatmeal"
or
OFFER: "peanut and yogurt canisters."

And those still aren't as good as:
TAKEN: "Oatmeal"
or
TAKEN: "peanut and yogurt canisters."

Heat Vision and Jack

is there anything youtube can't do?
yes, it can't give me norm macdonald on conan o'brien.
that's unforgiveble.
but, they do have this on there now.
and Rob Schrab says he and Dan Harmon are "writing the feature version of it for FOX. Which also may never see the light of day.
Go to www.robschrab.com for more Heat Vison info."

Bad Habits

Show I'm in. At The Academy Theatre in Avondale Estates. Part of Savage Tree's "Spare Rib Festival." I know! I don't even eat ribs.... It's about women. Get it?
Our show is called "Medusa" by Steve Yockey, and it is the second half (roughly 30 minutes) of the whole show "Bad Habits" (roughly an hour in all). It runs in rep with some other shows, so we only have 5 performances. last night, tonight-- the 7th, 17th (PWYC night), 20th, 21st. If you're interested. I have a very small part. Stacy Melich is the star in this one.

Ralph Reed Running for Lt. Governor of Georgia

Someone who Abramoff thinks is dishonest! That's pretty bad.
"He is a bad version of us! No more money for him."

-- Abramoff, in a January 2002 e-mail to Michael Scanlon, complaining about Reed's billing practices.

He wants to hold the second-highest executive office in the state.
I bet he will, too. Because he's a "Christian" and yokels eat that shit up with a spoon.
Lt. Governor "has a great deal of influence on state policy and the establishment of spending priorities."

Reed said "We believe gambling is a cancer on the American body politic. It is stealing food from the mouths of children… [and] turning wives into widows.”
He drummed up tons and tons of Christian anti-gambling protests, on moral and religious grounds, when in actuality he was getting paid buttloads of gambling revenue $$$$ by Abramoff because it threatened one of his own gambling clients.


State Primary Elections are July 18.

On immigrants

Richard Rodriguez says "thank you."
Listen.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Live, in concert, on NPR.

A Time For Heresy

Outrage.
This is long, and it is sickening.
Sickening.
Thanks to Steve for sending me this.

Excerpts from Bill Moyers' speech at Wake Forest. I suggest you read the whole thing, though.
"...Joseph Campbell told me a story ... about the Australian tribe that used the bullroarer to keep people in awe of the gods. The bullroarer is a long flat board with notches, or slits, at one end, and a rope at the other. When you swing it around your head, the action produces a musical humming. The sound struck the primitive tribes as other-worldly, causing them to tremble in fear that the gods were angry. So the elders would go into the forest and come back with word of what it would take to placate the gods. And the people would oblige.

Now when a young boy in the tribe was ready to become a man, a ritual took place. Wearing masks, the elders would kidnap him and take him into the woods, tie him down, and with a flint knife slice the underside of his penis. It was painful, but the medicine man said this is how you became a man.

It meant shedding one’s innocence. At the end of the ritual one of the masked men dipped the bullroarer in the boy’s blood and thrust it in his face, simultaneously removing his mask so the boy could see it’s not a god at all – it’s just one of the old guys. And the medicine man would whisper, 'We make the noises.'"

Wow. Analogy overload.
closing paragraph:
"This is the heresy of our time – to wrestle with the gods who guard the boundaries of this great nation’s promise, and to confront the medicine men in the woods, twirling their bullroarers to keep us in fear and trembling."