FREE ADMISSION: Museum Day 2006

First off, Brian Bannon (and the improvisors) did a great job last night at Doug Dank. Andisheh took pictures. Maybe he'll send one i can post here. (?)
~Cool! Thanks~
If you weren't there, you should've been! Where were you, anyway? I baked pre-made cookies. I popped corn using microwaves. I opened beers for people. I threw the breaker. I breaked the threwer. What were you doing, again?


Now about the museums:
Free entry to museums nationwide on Saturday, 30 September 2006, as part of the Smithsonian-sponsored Museum Day. You have to download the Museum Day Card to gain free entry for 2 people. Visit the site for the list of participating museums (by state).

For all the details and to print the card, click here.

For the Atlantans:
Fernbank Science Center
Phone: 678-874-7102

High Museum of Art
Phone: 404.733.4400

Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site
Phone: (404) 331-5190

Michael C. Carlos Museum
Phone: 404-727-4282

PUPPETS: The Power of Wonder, at Center for Puppetry Arts
Phone: 404.873.3089

What's that? Are There Any Restrictions?
General admission only
Not valid for special exhibits, IMAX screenings or for use with any other offer.
One time use on September 30, 2006.
Some participating museums may already have a free admission policy year round and are participating in the "spirit" of the day.
...How museumy of them.

...I smell Butterscotch and twat.

This is the punchline of a Brian Bannon joke the very first time i saw him perform, years ago at Eddie's Attic. I hope it doesn't make him cringe, my putting it here, out of context, but to me, it even stands alone. Leslie and I laughed through the whole rest of his set. At other things, too, but i couldn't get this out of my head. And who would want to!

And it was smart, not JUST kinda gross. And that is Brian Bannon. A very smart guy. Who is sometimes kinda gross. But not always. And very well-read. There's this one about Naked Lunch and a colander handle that i could never ever re-tell, but leslie and i laughed for about the same amount of time. And it wasn't even 'New Year's Eve.'

I sometimes have to read his blog with 2 other browser windows open, CNN search and dictionary.com.

He's a funny guy, and has also taken part, patiently, in a number of our short films. Always adds great ideas. He played a wonderfully hesitant gay husband to my horrifically cro-magnon lesbian wife in one of them. He also played an alien(s) masquerading as a Mormon.

This Wednesday night, Brian will be the monologist for The Doug Dank Project at Push Push Theatre in Decatur. Check out his bio at the Doug Dank site. ...Literate vulgarity. Perfect.
"He failed." !!
No he didn't.
But that's funny.

10:00pm
$5.
Cheap beer.
Cookies.
Can't beat that. not even with a stick. But you can try.

Brushed into this

All i can really say today is, when you brush your teeth with Crest Whitening paste with Cinnamon Ice Scope, it really tastes Scope-y.
Like the entire time.
Until you go to spit it out, and it magically, shit you not, turns kind of garlic-y.
Garlic-y!
Or maybe not garlic, but the opposite of Cinnamon Ice Anything.
How does that happen?

Unknown Hinson

The King of the Country Western Troubadours

Tonight at The Earl.

10pm.

"Dear Krystal" Advice Column Needs Your Letters.

I'd listen to this woman's answers. She looks like she has a lot of them. A lot of everything.

You can seriously send in your relationship questions, and Krystal will answer them. (This week)

askas@adultswim.com

Safety is job none.

Costumed Characters.
Corporate Mascots
A guy and a girl.
Meet, date, fall in love, get married, go on honeymoon.
We were supposed to also maybe have a BABY!
I even saw a neoprene "on the Go!" baby with a carrying sling-thing.
They left it in the hot car at Piedmont Park.
That's not right.

AB and I show up at Piedmont Park at 8:00. Ouch!
Well, 8:10. Oops!
We walk to the gazebo/bridge. Put on the neoprene or neoprene-esque costumes, thinking they're the same size: giant-mascot-size.
Apparently i had grabbed the "on the Go! guy" costume.
AB had the "on the Go! girl".
They said, ehh, just keep them that way.
Ok.
So, the rest of the day I play Matt playing the on the Go! guy.
Within minutes 3 things become painfully clear:
1) There will be sweat. Lots of sweat. Many of you know Matt. He told me I stunk. I did. Neoprene wicked away as much moisture as it could possibly wick. I smelled wicked.
2) Walking literally 5 steps in the mascot "boots" began the blistering/bruising/chafing process.
3) I am more manly than I am girly/Matt plays girly mighty easily. (faggot)

Remember that Props list from a few days ago?
Every one of them: used. And add candles, gas fireplace, wedding cake/ring/veil, picnic stuff.
Every one of them: thought to be hilarious
Many of them: endangered or kinda hurt us in some way. (tandem bike/fireplace/any walking at all)

It may have been worth it to get these pictures, though.
And the video will be great for our reels. ...

We laughed about that one a lot.

Kristi Casey storms the stage

DOUG DANK! ...tonight.

Kristi Casey Sanders, co-founding artistic director of Savage Tree Arts Project has come a long way since hitting rock bottom, working as Barney Rubble at the opening of Goody's Clothing Stores in East Bumble, Ga. Since then, she has toured the world performing, started a women's rugby team in New York City, got paid to improv in Amsterdam, inherited a 9-year-old boy, and married a man with a brilliantly checkered past. Extra, extra, here all about it on Sept. 20!

PushPush Theatre in Decatur on New Street behind Figo Pasta and The Corner Pub.
10:00pm
$5

do it!

AEW / ANMD go to hell

Anna NicoleMiner's Daughter (ANMD)
Friday, Sept. 22 at the Masquerade.
Jen says: If you are coming to the show Friday, you can buy tickets online. Go here. And click on the abnormally large "buy now" button. They're cheaper in advance, so do it! In the end, if you're not wearing pants, we've done our job!"

Attractive Eighties Women plays the same night, right before ANMD, at 9:45

Together, again, for the first time, at last, almost--not yet, but soon, this Friday, so hurry, tix available.
AEW at 9:45
ANMD to follow.

Mack says: This is our first show at the Masquerade, and we need a huge crowd to show them how AEW rolls. You know you're going to come see us rock the house anyway, so why not save yourself $3? If you would like to buy a ticket, send us a message and we'll hook you up! Or you can just paypal $5 to attractiveeightieswomen@gmail.com and you're name will be on the list at the door.

Dead moth with paprika on it. Gah-ross.

Posting this again here, now that I and a few of us here have actually watched at least 2 seasons of it.

I've always been skeptical of cow manure

but it can do so many good things!

anyhoo, don't eat bagged spinach for awhile. especially from california. ewww.

i've always been skeptical of white blues musicians

Can't stand to see/hear a band or person just singing/playing blues songs. It's so so so superficial, so lacking in depth. The worst are Eric Clapton's "blues" songs. He should've been dragged (drug?) off the stage years ago for that alone, much less his extended use of light-colored jackets-as-accessory.

But this Richard Johnston guy is totally different. Anyone can learn to play a guitar (if you have hands/feet and /or flexibility and imagination...) and anyone can sing blues songs, but this guy sends out an emotion and a feeling to the listener. He's there in it with you.

Honestly, when it started, i thought---ahhh, it's a white blues guy, there's the hook. ok, i'll watch it cuz it's playing before my friend's doc. but man, it was so much more. The guy is so genuine, so charming, and the music was hypnotic. The North Mississippi All-Stars' music is based on this type of blues music, I believe. Max, if you read this, give a heads-up on any wrong info i put here.

One of the instruments he plays is this:
a cigar-box guitar with two sticks for the neck that allows him to play bass and melody by himself. He then added drums he plays with his feet with tambourine attached, so he was a self-sufficient one man band---and his voice is unbelievable.

It's Hill Country Blues, not Delta Blues, i didn't really know about the difference before I saw this documentary by Max Shores at the Rome Film Festival.
The film explains it better than i ever could, but this is a droning beat, a repeated bass and melody, i couldn't hear enough of it.

He learned with R. L. Burnside, Jessie May Hemphill and Junior Kimbrough, and for years played a street set on famous Beale St. in Memphis. Something interesting i learned from the documentary is that his street performances were so popular, that all street performers have since been banned on Beale St. He was drawing such big crowds to the outdoors show, bigger than any of the venues could house even, that the others business were going under, or nearly so. I don't think banning is the answer. That's weak. There had to be another way around that.

View the trailer here--but you still need to see the whole thing to get the full picture and experience.
There's a place on the website to sign up to be alerted of any tv dates, but it says it will have a 2007 release and Max does a great job with this b/c i was hooked.
Just keep an eye out for it. Ok?
Listen to and then buy the guy's music if you like it.
Though it really just is such a different experience to watch him play, even on a screen! Can't even imagine it in person.

Looking through the eyes of ...looove

..through the eyeholes of a ...mascot costume.

AB and I will be costumed and a-courtin' for a corp. job on Monday. Expect pictures filled with hilarity. How i know? Here's the prop list:

- Book of Poetry
- Small Toy Guitar
- Umbrella or Parasol
- Frisbee
- bicycle built for two
- Stick the head through the hole Prop
- Giant Sweatbands
- Bow Tie
- Do Not Disturb Sign
and last but not least, no comedy bit is complete without:
- Giant Sunglasses

Aren't I above this?
Yes.
Well, not really.
Actually, no.
There will be no children involved.
Only the fictional and implied 'making of.' i don't think that part will be on the special features, though.

(Tommy, i'm totally not making fun of this job. well, i kinda am, but i won't be an ass DURING the job. Promise)

dopplegangeropolis

The Pixie, Intellectual version of Mary K?

via rp

"Front Butt" -- My inevitable legacy

from a Squidbillies audio engineer:
"Didja know there's a rap tune that samples your work on the 1st episode of Squids?

Click on the tune "El Chupa Nibre Remix".

Will you be paid? No. Now you know what David Bowie feels like.

the "Dangerdoom" project is rapper MF Doom and producer Danger Mouse, and the record was financed/commissioned by Cartoon Network. The album proper that came out didn't have this tune on it, but that link sends you to the remix EP that they're giving away for free. Each of the songs (from the record, and the EP) has some sort of tie-in to a specific show, so I guess this was the Squidbillies one. I'm sure CN gave them the rights to sample any of the shows, since its all kinda promotional. I just stumbled across it since I'm a fan of the rapper, and was surprised to hear your dulcet tones."

Kinda cool!
And kinda f-ed up.
Par for the course.
FORE!

Rip Taylor's GAY??!

This is a proud moment for me.

And perhaps a confusing one for Jay?


I wonder what this moment smelled like?
Old Spice-doused confetti and a polish sausage made of Sun-in and Pall Malls?

Seriously, I love Rip Taylor.

"Stomp! Shout! Scream!" had a screening this past Saturday at RIFF! The Rome International Film Festival. Don't let the international part fool you, this was Rome, GA.
But it was a lot of fun, actually--they have a cute little downtown area.

Saw a great documentary about Freddy Cole, "The Cole Nobody Knows," by a local filmmaker, Clay Walker (trailer here). Did you know Nat had a brother who's a jazz piano player and singer? I didn't until i read about Clay's film. Freddy Cole is the cutest thing. And a pretty great piano player and singer.


This film was paired with a doc by Max Shores about Hill Country Blues musician Richard Johnston (view the trailer there--good god the music's freaking hypnotizing)---there will have to be a separate post about this one. This guy is unbelievable. The doc has aired on Alabama PBS.





Then I watched a feature length local film about nazis in a sports bar. Wait. I watched it in a sports bar. The nazis weren't there. To my knowledge.
It was quite a circus.
Verdict: A sports bar isn't a good place for a film screening. that's more than an hour long. about nazis. I just laughed. not about the nazis. at the clusterfuck of it all.
The film's director, who seems like a super nice guy, was talking over the film for the first 10 minutes or so. Not to the 'audience', or about the film, just up at the bar to others. I think a lot of people were kinda drunk. It was a sports bar.
At one point a band started up a sound check in the adjacent room. I just had to laugh.
The production value of the film didn't seem to look half bad. It was just....heavy. Again. Sports bar.

S!S!S! screened in an old-timey theatre called the Desoto on Broad St. in Rome. It was 11pm, in Rome, so attendance wasn't great, but it was what it was. Claire and Jay and I got up and did a little Q & A and i was the usual smart-ass, worn out from the day, having had only 3 beers and a moon pie in my system at 1 in the am. Then I signed 4 autographs on DVD jackets! Only 3 of them were relatives!

Paul the Cable Guy Smelled of Liquor and Ashtray

But was still funnier than Larry.

Dan and I just won $530, spread out into 'payments' over the next 12 months!

In a related story, can anyone tivo channels 30-140 for us for the next year?

Git-R-Undone.
Done and done.

I'm so sorry Bill. ....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

Forget the hurricane approaching.
so funny. so gay. hilarious!



via Josie

Olfactory Douchebaggery

have you ever smelled a rotted onion---hear me out---an onion so rotted, that it smelled like a shitty baby diaper?
I have.
Have you ever cleaned a coffee maker with vinegar---wait, hear me out---right before you find a rotten egg in your refrigerator and go to take it out and it crushes in your hand, so now your kitchen smells like a fart douched in the sink?
I have.

sorry about that.

have you ever smelled the inside of a restaurant's grease-trap? It's possibly worse than all of these above. Mixed together. Can't explain it. If you know it, you know it. It is what it is. And what it IS is mind-numbing and life-changing. Death is maybe close to it. It's very ...biological.

I could play the game of "thing smells like other things combined that would never be combined except for joke purposes which, combined would in fact smell ridiculously horrible." You know, that game. It's an old game. It's a good game. It was on SNL. It was used again on Anchorman. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that game, and played it unknowingly long before i saw it on SNL. Following some rule of comedy somewhere. Intuition leads me there. But I don't feel like using it here.

You may though, in your comments. In fact, i encourage it.

What are some of the worse things you've smelled.


P.S. Let's round this post out with this visual story:
My cat puked the other day--the one that doesn't usually puke--and it was filled with green stuff and a bunch of bird feathers. A bunch. It had no discernible smell.

Mack Williams isn't exaggerating

Mack has a link in a post for a thing on the web from the past in his college years ...that he says is funny. He thinks it's really really just really great.

I'm afraid he may be absolutely right.

I've only watched the first 3 minutes and I'm shifting uncomfortably in the seat. But I also have to pee.

2 things, 1 post. Today is a time of efficiency.

Ultrababyfat is playing at The Earl on Friday night.

check out their website. It's a little outdated, so don't pay attention to any info. But they have music for listening. Pictures for looking. Aren't they adorable? And I don't really use or like using the word adorable.
Shonali said they finished this cd a way long time ago, and then she moved to NYC, so they're just NOW getting around to releasing the cd.

UPDATE: Holy shit, I think at the exact time i have been writing this, they were updating both their myspace and their band website. So now, their info is correct and up to date and there are a few songs from the new album on their myspace page--check it!

Secondly.

TOMMY FUTCH WEDNESDAY NIGHT as Monologist for Doug Dank! I love Tommy Futch. The first live improv show i ever saw was Tommy's Laughing Matters show at The Pepper Pot which isn't even around anymore, and for excellent reason. I won an Easy Bake Oven that night! There's a story about that in another post.

It's sort of what spurred me from closet sketch writing into actual performing for the first time. The rest, as they say, is ...hilarity! See what I did?! Why did i ever stop writing sketches in the closet?!

He's awesome, and a very very very funny fellow, should be an excellent time of stories that are told by a person who is well-liked.

Read his bio from the Doug Dank site if you're so inclined.
I highly recommend it.

Please come out and check it out. How could it go wrong? (a-jinx) Hilarious guy, hilarious other guys...whassnottalike?!
Push Push Theatre
10:00 pm
45 minutes
$5.

Cookies and beer.

Nanner margs

We just went to the same restaurant and sat at the same table 2 nights in a row.

I don't believe I've ever done that before. ??

First (Sunday) night, the Blue Frog Cantina was chosen by default (El Torrero is closed on Sundays. Boo.)
While there, we stared at a giant yellow banner that read "$1 tacos! Mondays and Tuesdays," until it registered. With enough margarita in us for coming back the next night to sound good, we agreed.

Next night, it still sounded good. So we went, same table was open. $1 tacos (does not include the fish tacos. Boo.) Banana margaritas. holy shit. Aaaand, while eating, the bartender from Mary's walked by and handed us wooden tokens for free drinks.

What a bargain. Thanks, Labor Day!

preliminary reviews on the cookies i just made

subtle individual performances from the ensemble of players, which combine for a good, "god-damn-i-needed-and-deserved-that" punch in the face of your mouth.

But anything made with fat, sugar and flour tastes good directly out of the oven. The true test is yet to come.

choc. chip
choc. chip and pecan
choc. chip and pecan and coconut

ALL VEGAN!

And (preliminarily) rockingly delicious.
They may suck in 10 minutes, though...
and you have to go backstage at dad's garage to have any.