Wednesday, January 31, 2007


to the ding to the dong to the dang dank.

Tonight (Wednesday, 31st) is the last night to see the improvisors try to tell their own stories and build improv around it. They're all a very odd assortment of people, so their stories are as weird as they are. In the best way possible.

NOT the last night of The Doug Dank Project, just the last night with no guest monologist.
No, no. Long live the dank.

And a little bird tells me that Hollis Gillespie said "hell yes" to the monologist invitation and her time will be coming up sometime very soon!

I hate it when anyone says "a little bird tells/told me."
Including when i do it.

Beer. Cookies (i'm assuming)
And i won't "touch" the cookies, as I hear Dan did. ...


Sunday, January 28, 2007

This will be the only time i will ever be able to type this

Vote for Mary Kraft as Pinup of the Year!

...or don't.
How can someone who looks like this most of the time be nominated for pinup of the year?

I asked Chad, the editor of the site, if he could make up a non-cleavage category. Otherwise my chances of winning would be slim to none. Just like my cleavage. Or rather, the area where there is usually cleavage. The cleavage area.

Isn't this funny?

I'm asking.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

that ...thing

I often get the words rivet, divot and trivot mixed up. Or at the least, i hesitate a bit too long before using any of those words.

But never pivot.

Or shiv.

Or snifter.

I love the word snifter.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Local Corporate Actor Accepts Audition for Bidet Industrial Video

The only headline worse?
Local Corporate Actor Passed Over for Role in Bidet Industrial Video.

[TOTO Washlet | What is a Washlet?]

"The TOTO Washlet replaces your toilet seat with the first seat bidet introduced to the American market. It’s a must have lifestyle hygiene product that will forever change the way you think of the word clean.

When activated, Washlet provides a gentle stream of aerated water with adjustable temperature and pressure for safe, effective cleansing, and the variable settings can be easily adjusted to suit your personal needs."

I'll keep you posted. And clean. If we still think of that word the same way.

I hope i get to give a product demo.
Well, let's put it this way. They're getting a product demo. I hope they want one.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Team of monologists descend on New Street

Push Push Theatre on New Street in Decatur.


Improv fueled by the real stories of a monologist (storyteller).

This week's Guest Monologist?
...The Improvisors, themselves!

Matt Stanton, Dan Triandiflou, Amber Nash, George Faughnan, Rene Dellefont.

more on this story here.

Q: Can they can do it!
A: They can, and it is funny.


Come on out!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Copper Mountain '07: a retrospective

The majesty of it all

For more, go here. Or here.

Half-assed try yields an expected and slight disappointment

at the Moose Jaw Saloon. In Frisco, CO. via ablebody.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

I think you should

In the new year, i'm going to transfer more of my beliefs and likes and wants onto you. I'm tired of being alone in my always-right world.
Ya gotta eat.
We all know that. since checker's told us.

Go out and buy at least the first book in the Philip Pullman trilogy His Dark Materials. (I guess the film is called The Golden Compass, which is the first book in the trilogy) Or, if you know what a "library" is--you can borrow books and things from these buildings for free if you bring them back on time--get it from there. I have a feeling you'll get the next two. You will find them in the "young adults" section, though i think i would get a little lost in them were i a young adult reading them for the 1st time.

I am going to read them again, and hopefully get through them before the MOVIE comes out. Which looksl ike December 2007. And it looks like it's gonna be gooooooood. Sort of like Harry Potter, but the hero is a girl, and to me it's a little more dynamic, and everyone has a "daemon"--an animal companion that...well, i won't say anymore on that-- and the villain is sort of RELIGION. Many people didn't want the film made, as you can imagine.

The screenplay was written by Chris Weitz ("About a Boy"), who is also directing after some flip-flopping on the director decision. He said: "I grew up on Tolkien but this, to be honest, leaves him in the dust as far as ambition and philosophical depth...." Well now....
The best part for me is that the lead is not being played by Dakota Fanning! Or her sister! Though her name is Dakota. Must be a pre-requisite. She's a relative unknown, and she's actually British. Once you read the books, you will wonder HOW IN THE HELL they put on a staged version in London. Hard enough to fathom a film. Done well. One of my favorite parts? Ian McShane will voice Iofur Raknison, a " panserbjørn "---an armor-wearing, intelligent polar bear. Awwwwesome.

Here are some more pictures. I originally balked at the casting of Nicole Kidman for Mrs. Coulter (not related to Steve....that i KNOW of), but on second thought she's probably perfect. Did I just type that?

I am so being a NERD right now. I really love the story. The books. Hope the film's great. It should be fun, at the very least. I cried when i had no more to read in the trilogy.

You should too.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

It's coming...

The Copper Mountain Ass-Over-Teakettle-Bruise 'n Tumble Fest '07

Eye on the prize and all.

You know when you drop something, or knock something off the counter? My attempt to catch it before it hits the ground is so much more than just an attempt-- I take it very seriously, and derive MUCH joy from a mission accomplished. Even more fulfilling if you catch the item just before it goes in the trash or even better, the toilet. I just did this with a lotion cap. Score! ....aaaahgh.
I'd say about 85% of the time, I catch it, whatever it is. I've got, as they say, good hands. I'm getting this percentage statistic out of the Library of My Ass.
Were a camera on me consistently, I would have won $10,000 from one of those whinnying home video shows years ago.
I take it very seriously, BUT, I usually laugh at what it must have looked like.
One time, years ago, after "fixing mama's eyes", i knocked over an empty plastic 16oz. coke bottle, batted it around like a cat with a chipmunk SIX TIMES and laughed, by myself, for 10 full minutes.... intermittently.

Will stupid shit ever stop being funny?

Yes, I fixed my eyes by myself.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Doug Dank goes skiing

Copper Mountain won't know what hit it, then tumbled down it.
Thanks to everyone who came out for the shows during December! Lots of shows, lots of different times, but lots of fun.
And thanks, also, to the monologists during the crazy month of Yule Danks.
Taking a little time off but back strong on the 17th (and also back to just the Wednesday night shows).

Happy New Year!

Lars Von Trier makes guest appearance on Three's Company

I highly recommend (without having seen any of this already):
The newest Dailies Project Screenings -- Dogme.AughtSix Films

Dogme.AughtSix is a reworking of the Dogme95 manifesto designed to eliminate gimmick and spectacle from the contemporary short film and focus on story and character in hopes of inspiring true emotion. Where Dogme95 eschews the
personality of the director in favor of ultimate truth, Dogme.AughtSix only strives to eliminate the distraction of technology and spectacle so that a filmmaker can find a voice as a director of actors.

Here's the Dailies' Dogme manifesto and vow of chastity.

Dailies 11th project in its 41Z2 year history will be screening at PushPush Theater for the next two weekends only.

January 5 & 6, 2007 @ 8p
January 7, 2007 @ 5p
January 12 & 13, 2007 @ 10p
*Stick around for a talk back with the directors after the screening!!

Screening Location
PushPush Theater
121 New Street
Decatur, GA 30030

Ticket Price
$8 - $25 (Pay What You Can)

Monday, January 01, 2007


this is going to be incredibly cliche, but.....
why tha Fuuuuuuuuuck would you bring an infant to a movie theatre. Can't find a babysitter? Don't go to the movies. Can't afford a babysitter? Can't afford a $8 movie. In the day time it's bad enough, but at night it's even worse.
TWO girls sat with each other with their babies, who cried.
During Children of Men.
Which works hard to create the scene and set the tone for a world in the near future that is totally without children.
The youngest person is 18.
It's bleak.
It's drab.
It's childless. Then there's fucking babies crying 10 rows behind me. Let's just say that this is total bullshit, and leave it at that.
Also a terrible idea and incredibly thoughtless? Dousing yourself with patchouli and sitting in incense before sitting in a crowded theatre. Thanks, bitches, you smell like Little 5 points was tossed in a dumpster full of dead hippies and matted dread locks and set on fire. Yes, I am that person, I guess. Seriously though...i'm not being unreasonable.
M. feel me, right?

Along the same lines: