Tuesday, February 27, 2007

But seriously

Go to Doug Dank Wednesday night. 10pm at Push Push.

Hollis Gillespie. of Creative Loafing, et al.
Come out.



Saw this story on NPR about the Jewish holiday of Purim.

Says that "The holiday, which begins Thursday and lasts until March 5, is one of the most joyous on the Jewish calendar and commemorates a time when the Jews of Persia were saved from extinction.

It is customary to hold carnival-like celebrations and beauty contests, to perform plays and parodies, and to feast and drink during Purim, which is sometimes called Jewish Mardi Gras."
And here's a diagram of how to make Hamantaschen that looks like something that has nothing to do with any kind of food or good time.

I mostly remember Purim as that time that our landlord upstairs, Barbara R. asked if we had any costumes she could borrow for a party her temple was giving for Purim. Costumes?!
Are you shitting me?
I have an entire separate wardrobe closet with costumes and wigs and such and whatnot.

So I said, "knock yourself out." Oh, and also can i borrow your oven later, cuz our's is not working."
"sure, come on up later when you need it, the basement door will be unlocked."

Well, I came on up later, with whatever it was that needed to be baked, knocked on the door which leads to her kitchen, and there is 50-something yr. old Barbara R., sitting at her kitchen counter, reading a magazine, wearing a basketball jersey i happened to randomly have, with some random letters that say something like "FYTCRBT" on it, or something.

And on her head, was not just an afro---oh no. Which would've been odd, and funny, and mind-boggling, and socially questionable enough.
It was an afro-wig that had been made into a VAGINA PUPPET. Big pink satin lips and giant googly eyes to boot.
"Ms. V" in fact, was her name. **

These latter features sat on top of Barbara's head, facing the sky.

"How do you---Do I have this thing on right?" she asked, as she tugged at and fussed with the vagina lips.

Barely conscious of the glass dish i was carrying, i somehow managed to not drop it, to not laugh, to close my gaping maw, to say "ahh, you--got it right, i think.", to put the dish in the oven, to get back down the stairs, to call leslie, and to then start screaming into the phone. Which i am sure she heard.
"Barbara has a vagina on her head! And I let her go to temple with it ---on her head! The vagina! Puppet! On her head! "

And that's what Purim means to me.

**Anne Dusenberry made it for a pretty hilarious sketch called The Puberty Sketch. You know who loved the puberty sketch? Hollis Gillespie, who'll be at Doug Dank tonight.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Hollis Gillespie!

Monologist this Wednesday for Doug Dank.

Hollis has a resume too big to put here, but you can download it from her website or view it HERE if you like.
In a nutshell, syndicated humor columnist (I am sure you have seen her column in Creative Loafing for years), travel and financial columnist, published author, radio commentator, editor, reporter, photographer, script writer, tv content consultant, and much much more.

Paramount Studios even optioned the film rights to her book, Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch. Which I believe i should be in, should it get filmed. I'll let Laura Dern be the lead, but don't you think i should be in there somewhere? I do.

She has even appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, which you can view HERE.

But perhaps her greatest accomplishment was surviving an early morning appearance on one of Atlanta's terrible local morning shows, Fox Good Day Atlanta.





You can do this thing.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Voting for Cash Cop on Discovery

Lighthog's Cash Cop, is a finalist in the Discovery Channel's You Spoof Discovery contest. Won't you please visit these links to view our film and vote for it? Or just vote for it, we won't tell.

VIEW HERE (link not working right now, but check back)



We're in 3rd, currently.

our stuff on places

A weekend with Lighthog

Films! This Saturday and
Sunday LF is acting locally
and .....globally? with three
of our short films:

Cash Cop - A winner in
Discovery Channel's Spoof Contest, Cash Cop will
appear in the national Discovery Channel Special hosted
by Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs. Directed by Keith Hooker.
Starring Dan Triandiflou,
Mary Kraft, Leslie Sharp,
Randy Havens and Jim
Johnson. Basic cable may
never feel this basic again!

Sunday Feb. 25th 10pm,
Discovery Channel

Too Hot For Summer -- Coming
at you like the idiot-savant bastard
of Tennessee Williams and
Tennessee Ernie Ford, THFS

makes its television debut on Georgia
Public Television (WPBA30)'s Atlanta
this Saturday @ 11:30pm
and Sunday at 11am. Written and
Directed by Leslie Sharp. Starring
Leslie, Mary Kraft and Matt Stanton.
With Stacey Bode and Emma Page.
And introducing: Mrs. Robert E. Lee,
the empathetic hound dog.

Saturday Feb. 24th 11:30pm & Sunday 11am WPBA 30

And all you urban hipsters in NYC, check out Ratutu
Collaborative's "Bad Ass Shorts" Festival running this
weekend at The Creek and The Cave Theater, which
will include Lighthog Film's The Return of Dr. Rod.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Is this going to be good?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

No good answers

Tough, tough stuff. How do you say goodbye to someone so so sweet, nice, funny, generous, so generous, smart, giving, humble, trustworthy, honest, and good?

The only thing i can think is that in order to balance things out, the universe must have to compensate for losing this man, these qualities, this huge amount of positive energy. Someone special must have been added to this earth on Tuesday to make up for this loss. Think of us this week. And thanks to so many of you who have sent so many nice emails and phone calls. We're swamped.

Sunday, February 11, 2007


If there was no NPR i don't think i'd be able to drive around town. Do you want to give me a ride everywhere? No? Then sign this petition.

If there was no PBS, my hiLARious short films would air NOwhere on saturday night and sunday morning. And rp would have to be naked ONLY at HOME!
Please, help, won't you?

Dear MoveOn member,

Since Thursday afternoon, 370,018 of us have called on Congress to stop President Bush's budget cuts and save NPR and PBS. 370,000 of us in just 36 hours!

Can you help make it half a million signatures? Here's what the petition says: "Congress must save NPR and PBS once and for all. Congress should guarantee permanent funding and independence from partisan meddling." Just click here to add your name:

CLICK to sign.

Every additional signer will mean more pressure on Congress to block this cut and make sure this kind of partisan meddling never happens again. President Bush cannot be allowed to slash strong journalism and shows like "Sesame Street."

We've won this fight before. Together, we can make sure we never have to confront this issue again.


╦ćNoah, Joan, Carrie, Marika and the MoveOn.org Civic Action Team
Saturday, February 10th, 2007


There's a second half to that horrible thing:

Check out her workout routine (move counter to 8:30) and then to the kitchen (5:13 is a nice spot) and there is a MUST SEE moment at :45 seconds left in the video -- the carrot editing error is HILARIOUS! She has some great diet tips, too.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Fashion is something that is acquired by looking at a lot of different fashions

Well put, Brenda Dickson, aka Jill Foster Abbott from Young and the Restless circa 1985.
Well put.

I know you can't possibly sit through this whole thing, but...dear god. It's just like an 8 or 9 year old girl figured out how to use a video camera, and played dressup with her mom's clothes, and talked on and on and on inanely in an affected accent about absolute shit that could not matter less. Thank you.

Where the counter says 5:25, there's a nice little moment.
Then move the counter to 1:30 for another nice lil annurism.

I imagine in the back of her head, there's a hole--not really all that small, either--where blood and more importantly brains are seeping out, and termites are marching in, carrying noodles.

It's like she has a skull full of termites and noodles.

via Looking at Them

The Return of Dr. Rod

Linda Skrunk!

from Keith of Lighthog Films:

"WPBA 30 is running "The Return of Dr. Rod" two times this weekend. At 11pm Saturday night and Sunday morning at 11am. Watch it with someone you love, won't you?

The other two films on the show were also done in the 2005 48HFP [48 hour film project], so it's a theme."

The guy in charge of the show spent a good hour blurring randy's body parts so the film would be airable. He said it would've been fine for saturday night, but they replay on sunday morning, and not so much for the sunday morning.......!!

If you have a short film and would like to submit it, follow the instructions HERE.
Pat's a super nice guy.


Sketchworks tried something new, and brought a director in to help shape and hone the show. Hone? Is that the word i'm looking for? it doesn't look right. I guess i'm thinking of corn pone.
Corn Pone!

Our buddy Tiffany Morgan is the director for the current run, Cirque du Sketch!

They have an awesome idea: A Benefit Matinee for Furkids. Pre-Oscar show, Sunday, February 25th at 5:00. From what i've heard and read, Furkids is a great organization. Worthy of donations, for SURE.

CLICK to make reservations:

CLICK this hilarious cat to find out more about FURKIDS, or to Donate. (wish they had a better name, though)

And HERE's a picture just because it's vomitously cute.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

been putting off your dank?

Then come out tonight. (WEDNESDAY!)

Local Filmmaker Dave Bruckner, partners with Dan Bush (LOVE the way this guy shoots films, watch "Day in the Life" if you get a chance) and Jacob Gentry in Pop Films--- i believe---will be monologist tonight! This should be a great crowd.
Because his latest feature film The Signal just got bought for a bajillion dolores just 6 hours after its screening at Sundance?

No, not completely.

I mean, it did. The film. ...It was bought up quick-like at Sundance. And that's awesome.

But, he's always been talented. (Have you SEEEEEN Dave vs. Jeremiah?) And engaging. And full of stories.





Sunday, February 04, 2007

start planning now!

thank you, furry.org, for a most ridiculous picture.

more details later, but if you don't have plans for valentine's day, or your existing plans are as gay as this photo, pls. consider coming to Push Push Theatre on the 14th.

Live music. (Jahi, Brenda Moorer and Jordan Minter)
Doug Dank at 10pm (befreakingloved real life actor husband/wife duo, Sahr and Ayesha Ngaujah will be monologizing)

more later.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Unknown Hinson

at the Star Bar tonight!

Saturday night.


He sold out the Star Bar.
It was a great show. Next time he's in town, i hope more people (that i know) will go. And that it won't be the Star Bar's Anniversary Party. I just....that crowd....I --don't---fit in.

He was great though. What total commitment.
Didn't get a chance to say hi, cuz we couldn't stay for the whole thing. Too tired. That's another thing, he has some unbelievable energy.

So, Dan and I saw a guy there that sort of put the fear deep down in us. And he wasn't what you'd probably think. We saw this guy, and we both just kinda looked at each other and said "wow." Not too tall, but just THICK? and SOLID? Like his neck was wider than my head? And he had very close-cut hair, and a camoflauge jacket on, and his only focus seemed to be this one girl--every thing else was just pushed out of the way if it got in his way. I couldn't get "hairpin-trigger" out of my head. Just a weird energy about him, i guess. something straining at the seams.

Friday, February 02, 2007


The cartoon network thing. Yep. My official opinion? I like Boston a little less, now. But i doubt they care. I've always been partial to the Cape, and they know it. North Falmouth rulez 4eva!

I hope the movie does well, even though i'm not in it. ...

I know some of my friends don't especially find Squidbillies funny. That's ok. I think it's funny. But again, I'm fully partial because it employs me part time from time to time, and hopefully for more time than less time, next season.
Yep. There will be a season 3.
Yep. There will be a Seasons 1 and 2 (together) DVD sometime this summer.

I've had a freaking blast this week filming some stuff for the special features.
Exactly the kind of stuff I wish I could do every day.
Not necessarily the same character, but, you get what i'm saying.
We did commentary over some episodes. Always a bit awkward. But they filled us full of beer and pizza and beer and beer.

Met Danny Baker, who plays "Early Cuyler" my character's special so-n-so.
He is a musician who goes by the name of "Unknown Hinson" and he's a super nice guy. Super talented guitarist.

He'll be at the Star Bar this Saturday night.
Like tomorrow night.
I'm going.

He has a ventriloquist doll named "Itty Bitty Hinson" that he carved HIMSELF with matching suit, chops and eyebrows.