Unknown Hinson

I like this picture.

I am an adult

and i just washed my shoes in the kitchen sink.

i thoroughly washed the sink afterwards, but, still.

i think that's kind of weird.
but i couldn't figure out a better way.
and the hose is all the way around the front of the house.
so i'd have to put on other shoes and walk outside and around the house.
and there are mosquitoes, so i'd have to spray.
and i don't have one of these:







and this link gave me the internet's go-ahead.

so i thought, i'll do it, then not tell anybody.
oh well.
i'm a weird, and occasionally gross person.

also, i've been breathing a lot of varnish fumes.
thank you b. rosenberg.
"i don't know what to tell you."

i had a slice of bread in my shirt for about 30 minutes last night.
i wish i could blame it on varnish fumes.

Let me just say

When Unknown Hinson AND his 2 band members took (TOOK!) the stage, i could NOT wipe the grin off my face for 45 minutes.

They are a great band.
Unknown is an unbelievable performer.
Totally committed.

I begged "Simpson" to stay -- the smoke was killing her.
And she stayed.
And she was so so glad.

What an awesome show.

We sucked it up (well, not really, i just didn't tell anyone i was "Krystal" and do any lines from the show--about 7 people came up to us and told us they liked what we did, the ones who recognized us without our "stuff" on.)

I'm buzzed.
sleep.

I just beat myself up...

for beating myself up.

Squids and Unknown Hinson at The Earl on Friday

with POSSIBLE guest mc's for the night: Simpson and Snatch.
????????????
ok, imagine my surprise when i opened a myspace bulletin from Unknown Hinson to find this:
FRIDAY, JUNE 29
IT'S SQUIDBILLIES NIGHT AT THE EARL IN ATLANTA!! ADULT SWIM WILL BE GIVING AWAY SHIRTS, HUGGIES, TONS OF GOODIES AND WE'LL BE SHOWING FOUR EPISODES OF THE SQUIDBILLIES,

PLUS A WORLD PREMIER OF "BEHIND THE SCENES - MAKING OF THE SQUIDBILLIES" FEATURING THE TALENTED PEOPLE AT ADULT SWIM WHO WRITE, DESIGN PICTURE AND SOUND, ANIMATE, AND COORDINATE PRODUCTION FOR THE SHOW. THE VIDEO ALSO REVEALS THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE VOICES ON SQUIDBILLIES.

OUR GUEST MC WILL BE NONE OTHER THAN MARY KRAFT - THE VOICE OF CRYSTAL (BRINGING HER FRONT AND REAR BUTTS TO THE STAGE FOR YOUR VISUAL ENJOYMENT). MARY KRAFT IS A PROFESSIONAL STAND UP COMIC AND WILL HAVE YOU LAUGHING BOTH OF YOUR BUTTS OFF!
--------
uhhh, hmmmm. ok. well, there's so little of that that's actually true. I love unknown, and his wife margo, though. and i'll tell you, the emails that have gone back and forth between me and williams st. offices have been HILARIOUSLY confusing. I'm still at this moment not exactly sure what is going on. Or what will happen.
We'll see.
Regardless, the Unknown show will be awesome, i'm sure. and i've heard really good things about the short, "making of squidbillies" parody thing from the soon to be released (well, october...) DVD.

So, come on out, i THINK everything starts about 10:15.
Again, i dunno.

Kenny Alfonso goes around the horn with Doug Dank

I just love Kenny Alfonso. If I'm on a job with Kenny, i just know it's going to be a really fun day. Funny, talented, and super nice. Plus a talented hottie chick to boot!
I mean, I've had other jobs before, but it was like waiter, bartender, ski lift operator and photo lab girl. This guy has a little bit on me.... And must have stories out the wazoo. Did you expect an asterisk there, telling you later what his wazoo is? Well, i'm unpredictable.* You can figure out for yourself what his wazoo is.**

KENNY ALFONSO!
Sharing a birthday with Bruce Lee and Jimi Hendrix didn't add pressure to the skinny Spanish kid, it only inspired ambition. Raised on baseball fields in Tampa, FL, Kenny Alfonso spent most of his youth following a funny Dad and older brother around, learning to hit curveballs, and secretly wishing he was a Kung Fu-Rock Star. After a brief stint in a few minor league camps, Kenny spent time as a State Attorney's Investigator and Pharmaceautical Rep before retiring from corporate life in 1994 to enter the entertainment industry.

As an actor Kenny has portrayed a slew of colorful characters in
award-winning indie films such as; White Bitch Down, Moved, and the critically acclaimed musical comedy Petunia. He has performed on stage from coast to coast as co-creator of The Goods Variety Show with comedy partner Phillip DeVona and has appeared in over 70 national and regional commercials from McDonalds to GMC Trucks. Recently Kenny completed a stint on the Fox hit Prison Break and is on television every week as the Co-host of Barkitecture, a 'How To' show on the D.I.Y. Network and HGTV. On film Kenny can be seen in Just My Luck starring Lindsay Lohan and as former Golf Champion 'Eben Byers' in Bobby Jones-Stroke of Genius starring Jim Caveizel. In 2006, Kenny signed on as an Executive Producer with Between Films Entertainment to produce the feature film Petunia, a garage musical in 2007. Kenny makes his home in Atlanta with daughter Jessy and long time partner Melissa Ponzio.

The Doug Dank Project
Push Push Theatre in Decatur.
Still just $5
Still just 10pm - almost 11p

*still pretty predictable
**his wazass

I have to believe that

this will be funny. How can it not be, with Mitch Rouse and David Pasquesi?

And there's the jinx.

" Over at Spike TV, the men's cable network is going for guffaws with The Factory, according to Variety. The comedy is being developed by Strangers with Candy cocreator Mitch Rouse and will rely heavily on actors' improv skills."

the sound of denim ripping and dreams coming true

That's it. Now, it's personal!

KEITH HOOKER! Is doing Doug Dank! Jeeeez, i've been waiting for this.

If you don't know Keith, you're missing out on something. Though you may not know the man, you MAY know his work, and not ever realize it. If you've ever been to Lighthog.com or switchworks.tv (for the rumored-to-be-hilARIOUS Simpson and Snatch show...) or seen any of the things i post here with leslie and john, et al, then you've seen keith's work. he shoots and directs MOST of our stuff! Occasionally, he's in it. He should be in it more often, as he is hilarious, as i mentioned above. Mayor Luke Weatherwax of Slampsberg, USA-- nuff said. Look that stuff up.

He's soft-spoken, but when he speaks it is meaningful, pertinent, and usually hilarious. His ego is tiny, but his heart is huge (so are his b#%$s!).*

*balls.
Here's HIS bio as he writes it:

Keith Hooker was a founder of Atlanta's oldest improvisational theater group Laughing Matters in the 1980s and worked on most of Atlanta's stages with some very funny people.

In 2004 he started making short films at Dad's Garage Theater under the handle Lighthog. Working with improvisational actors and little or no crew, Keith has uncorked small gems like Aliens Among Us, The Other Side of the Glass and Cast vs. Crew serving as Director, Cameraman, Editor and something he calls "Bung-hole Boy".

In 2006, Keith won a Discovery Channel contest with a parody of the DC game show Cash Cab titled Cash Cop. You see? This shit practically produces itself.

Keith is married to actress Leslie Sharp (Blotter; Simpson & Snatch) and has two cherubic children of the kind you might see in popular sitcoms and movies. Family life has finally given Keith the emotional maturity to give up his self-conscious affectations like the black unitard and the monocle.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT
10:00pm
only 45 min. - 1 hour long
$5?!?!?!?! Ga-gunk! That's it?
Push Push Theatre in Decatur on New St. behind Corner Pub and Figo.

I'm probably way behind on this, but...

I happen to think this is pretty funny.

"Bake sandwiches more ya people, for shitsakes--heaven!"

The itchiest chord

PEANUT stops by!

HOPE MIRLIS SPILLS THE BEANS TO DOUG DANK

Actor, Director, Producer, Co-founder of Synchronicity Theatre, Cook, Chocolate-Maker, cat-lover.
pretty well-rounded, i'd say.

Here's her professional bio:

Hope is a native New Yorker, who has spent the past 15 years in Atlanta acting, dancing and choreographing. Recent Synchronicity credits include playing Daisy in The Sex Habit of American Women and Turtle/Bird in A Year with Frog & Toad. She was also one of the writers and performed in last season's Women + War. Hope is an active stage and commercial actress with credits including Scana Energy, Home Depot and Austin Snack Crackers. Favorite stage roles around Atlanta include Pepper in Pulp and Reggie Fluty in The Laramie Project (Actor's Express), Mrs. Grace in A Man of No Importance, Dabby Bryant in Our Country's Good (Theatre Gael), Margarethe in Copenhagen (7 Stages), and Mrs. Shin in Good Person of Szechwan (Theater Emory).

She was voted Creative Loafing's Best Choreographer - Reader's Choice in 2000 and her dances have been seen at The Georgia Shakespeare Festival, Dad's Garage, The New American Shakespeare Tavern, Actor's Express and Synchronicity. After receiving a BA in Theater Studies from Emory University in 1993, she was awarded the Alice N. Benston Prize for Excellence in 1999 to honor her continued commitment and passion for theater.

COME OUT and see what she has to say!

Or, see her on stage, and hear what she has to say.

yeah.

The Doug Dank Project: $5

PushPush in Decatur

new show and new guest monologist EVERY Wednesday

10pm

cheap beer/wine

Cup of Kindness and a Rusty Sidecar

Tryin ta lay out in a silver pantsuit is the hardest work i've done in years.
Where the hell is Simpson with my bathing suit?

And our thong?!

Jeremiah VS. Doug Dank

This Wednesday's Doug Dank Project is helmed by Jeremiah Prescott, Producer, Writer, Sound Designer, Sound Recordist, Editor, and General Funny Guy of Media v. Media. He was also sound designer on the local Sundance hit "The Signal."

BUT, I think the only thing with which i'm really gonna sell this doug dank is this:

DAVE VS. JEREMIAH

Masterpiece.

The specifics are as usual and as follows:


Push Push
Wednesday
10pm
$5
long form improv fueled by the true life stories of a guest monologist EVERY WEEK.

Cheap beer and wine and sodas and whatnot.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez, try to beat this.

Simpson and Snatch: New suit, less holes

Check out any episodes you've missed from the last week HERE

I just saw THE most f-ed up thing....c. a. you'll appreciate this

I just saw, out of the window, a crow trying to have sex with a dead cat bird--or something that looked similar-- in my neighbor's driveway.

He tried, from the time i saw it to the time i stopped looking, about 8 times.

No telling how long this had been going on.

oops. last screening of "the woman's angle" film project

i forgot to post about this. also, i'm in a film, and wasn't sure how it would turn out, and i'm kinda the lead. ....but! i've been hearing all kinds of good things about it.

so, if you wanna see 9 short films by female directors, go SUnday to the Sketchworks/youract building in decatur. and see them!

Lucky Yates Talk Show with Aqua Teen/Squidbillies co-creator Dave Willis!

Repeat, this is the Lucky Yates show, not Doug Dank.

Dave Willis!!
This guy isn't a hermit, but he RARELY does the public appearances. I'm a little shocked he's doing the show. But he IS! Guess the Aqua Teen movie's still in theatres, so couldn't hurt to plug that some more. He's a funny guy, you should check this out if you can! Also, in related news, Unknown Hinson will be playing The Earl in June, and they'll be showing our DVD extra features "behind the scenes footage" before his show. It's a Squidbillies night. I guess to push the dvd.... ANYWAY, more on that later.

SATURDAY, June 2nd 9:00pm at The Laughing Skull Lounge inside the midtown Vortex, come see the most hilarious live talk show Atlanta has to offer!
You could win fabulous prizes.
You can enjoy Lucky's cocktail of the month.
You can eat free tater tots, repeat, you can eat free tater tots.


The tickets are cheap and the booze is always flowing.

June's guests are:
*Dave Willis! Co-creator and star of adult swim's Aqua Teen Hunger Force
and
*Clobber! Puppet punk rock band that will blow your mind

Plus special surprises!