Tuesday, October 31, 2006


November is a time to Give Danks. Yep. That's mine. It's trademarked. ...

For the whole month of November, the proceeds from The Doug Dank Project are going directly to the charity of the guest monologist's choice!

Here's the lineup!
November 1st - Tommy Housworth! for Girl Fight Club (healthcare fund for three cancer survivors)

November 8th - Andisheh Nouraee everyone's favorite Creative Loafing writer person- for Animal Action Rescue

November 15th - Matt Chapman co-creator of Homestar Runner! for The Southeastern Brain Tumor Foundation

November 22nd- Carol Mitchel - actress, director - for Hosea Williams Feed the Hungry

November 29th- Kim Wall- actress/comedienne/model - for Foundation for Sarcoidosis Research

Every Wednesday night, at push push in decatur. www.thedougdankproject.com www.pushpushtheater.com

About 45 minutes long.
$10 -This month only
starts @10:00 pm
cheap drinks!
hot cookies!
cold beer!

Saturday, October 28, 2006


When i called a yard sale Brobdingnagian? And some of you went to dictionary.com to see what that meant? And when you saw, you thought, "What a pretentious dick." And the others of you who already knew, thought, "What a pretentious dick?"
Well, that yard sale, that was supposed to be today, was moved to tomorrow!
October 29th!

Here's some more info!
the Girl Fight Club Garage/Bake Sale Benefit!

THIS SUNDAY, October 29 from 8-3pm
335 Coventry Rd., Decatur, GA 30030

This is JUST off of Scott Blvd, not long after passing the Scott/Ponce split. Very easy to find.

This is a group that gathered forces a few years ago to help out one of our compatriots who was diagnosed with breast cancer. In lieu of beating the crap out of each other, the Girl Fight Club beats up on the cost of cancer treatment. We've managed to raise thousand dollars with our yard sales to help cover medical costs, and this weekend, the money raised is to help three of our GFC sisters who are battling cancer and medical bills.

You're almost sure to find most of what you're looking for, and the $$'s going to a great cause!

Thursday, October 26, 2006


Look closely. This video was supposed to be a car commercial. but when it was finally finished and seen by the makers they noticed something that seemed like a ghost following the car. ...And so..they never put it on tv. Once again look closely.

still gets me.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Test Tube Teens from the year 2000

Sure, EVERYbody's seen Pumpkinhead. But have you seen TTTFTY2000?


Well, most people have not.

BRIAN BREMER'S Digging Deep for Doug Dank! Wednesday night! Push Push Theatre!

Brian is a funny, talented, nice-nice-man.

And he will be the monologist fueling the long-form improv at 10pm at Push Push Theatre in Decatur, GA.

This is going to be fun. nice-nice-fun.

Look here a second-- only $5 to get in? Jesus!

Popcorn, beer, cookies, and other various and sundry snackeries.

45 minutes!


See YOU there.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Do NOT Bring Small Children

Holy Crap!
Graphic, frightening, and as real as the word of God!
It is fortold.
Faith Baptist Church LOVES Halloween!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Booij is in de havenstad

from Trafigura's website:

"Trafigura's primary trading businesses are the supply and offtake of crude oil, petroleum products, liquefied petroleum gas (LPG), metals and metal ores and concentrates.

....It aims at creating value for its customers by providing comprehensive supply or offtake solutions including trading, financing, ... at terms more competitive for its customers than could be achieved without reference to the international market. It frequently forms strategic alliances with local partners in order to understand fully the local dimensions of a particular market, ... to decrease costs and improve supply flexibility and efficiency. Trafigura works with its customers and suppliers to minimise their commodity price exposure wherever possible so that they can be assured of a stable margin from their businesses and avoid speculative risk.

Trafigura firmly believes that one of the pillars on which success is built in this business is strong financial management. Sensible and equitable risk sharing between business partners is the background to any mutually beneficial relationship."

How do they keep those costs down? By sending toxic waste in tankers to the Ivory Coast, and hiring a local company (Compagnie Tommy) who dumps it the backyards of the poor, causing deaths.

Well, that's one way.

"Two French executives from the Dutch-based commodity trader Trafigura which had chartered the ship that brought in the waste, the Probo Koala, were arrested and had their passports seized as they tried to leave the country."
"Trafigura maintains it has not acted illegally and paid a local company to dispose of the waste properly."

Yes, I'm sure they are free of blame.

They were also involved in the Oil for Food Scam.

They were charged with illegal dealings and bribery with the People's National Party in Jamaica.

They have ties to Marc "El Matador" Rich ("onetime fugitive billionaire, the most-wanted white-collar criminal in U.S. history until his controversial pardon on President Bill Clinton's last day in office in 2001," who "bought a house in the South of France and stocked it with hookers from Paris and flew in oil guys who spent a week at their expense,") ...awwwww. That's fun! "Whatever it takes!" was his mantra. Follow that link. It's very interesting reading about Marc Rich and the Rich Boys.
He trained many people in his commodities trading skills.
Trafigura was founded by "Rich Boys," as his trainees are called, with money from Rich.
I'm sure Trafigura had nothing at all to do with Comagnie Tommy dumping their waste there.
Whatever it takes.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Wilco live

Wilco Live In Concert
TONIGHT: Listen Online

Hear the Chicago rock group in a full concert webcast live from Washington, D.C. Oct. 19. on:

Approx. 10pm
No beer and cookies.
Unless you buy beer and bake cookies.

Do you have kids?

1) IF Yes, then GOTO ending.

2) No? I'm with ya. Do you care about kids? ...No? Alright. You know? I'm still kinda with ya. I know, I understand, you don't want them dead, but you don't really care about them, per se. Ok. Alright. How bout this: Do you care about how kids' lives affect YOU? ahhh, thought so. Do you think having more arts programs in schools is a good idea and could affect how kids look at and shape and eventually run the world YOU live in and will grow old in?

Ending: Monday, October 23 at 7:00pm at the Ferst Center on the GA Tech campus*, please consider attending an important forum with the candidates for Georgia School Superintendent. A full house will communicate to the candidates that increasing arts education in our schools is an important issue to voters.

*yeah, i know. Ga Tech! Maybe Jay Constantz has something to do with this.

Two (2) things on the Twenty-Eighth (28th)

First - (1st) - El Primero:

Huge, Giant, Brobdingnagian BAKE SALE & YARD SALE!

To benefit Girl Fight Club.
All the Proceeds go directly to our Atlanta actor friends who have battled Cancer, helping to pay their out of control medical bills and treatment.

Second - (2nd)- El Segundo:

Electronics Recycling Event: Saturday, October 28, 2006. Here's an E-flyer with all the particulars.

Help keep your old electronics out of the Seminole landfill. Recycle
your old electronics Saturday, October 28 from 9AM – 1PM.

Keep DeKalb Beautiful and the DeKalb County Public Works Department
will offer two (2) drop off locations:

• Tom Scott Building parking lot, 4380 Memorial Drive
• Brook Run Park in Dunwoody, located at 4770 N. Peachtree Road

I'll put up another reminder closer to then.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Dooooug Dank

Artistic Associate for the Georgia Shakespeare Festival. Been around for years. Been named Best Actor by Creative Loafing i'm sure more than once.

And i know he has some stories to tell.

The Doug Dank Project is at Push Push Theatre in Decatur, Wednesday night at 10pm. It's only $5!


Next week is Brian Bremer!

Monday, October 16, 2006

A friend in college once said

"3 things will always be funny: farts, afros and dogs fucking."
It stuck with me. And i hold it as a welcome constant in a world of constant change.
Though, just talking with someone today, we decided we might exchange monkeys for afros?

Regardless, Common Sense Media doesn't think ANY of these things are funny, and therefore really REALLY hates Squidbillies. This is rich, rich stuff.

and honestly, I'm glad to be a part of this negative shit-storm of a 'review.'
I think something's being done right.

I'm eating a frozen burrito in the dark

It must be my birthday. (this song is kinda great)

We need lows for contrast.


Tonight, I'll have margaritas in the light of night.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


or crest? always been a colgate person -- when i'm not buying off-brand, discontinued, hummus-flavored Big Lots toothpaste.

I really appreciate a brand new tube. It's so full! And i don't have to waste all that energy squeezing! My lord, the time i've lost squeezing! Worth blogging about? No!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

It's actually titled: Weather For Your Life!

Oct 13
AM Clouds / PM Sun
64°/40° 20%
Oct 14
68°/44° 20%
Oct 15
Partly Cloudy
70°/51° 20%
Oct 16
69°/61° 30%
i'm not gonna lie to you. i was a little freaked out by this embedded warning from the weather channel.

i am gonna lie to you about the link that the warning takes you to.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Our Aqua Teen/Stomp! Shout! Scream! buddy, Jay Edwards!

No, not THAT film guy, Jay Edwards.
THIS film guy, Jay Edwards.

Wendesday Night! Push Push Theatre in Decatur, right behind Figo Pasta and Corner Pub!
Only $5!
Pass it on.
Please feel free to link to this on your site.

DVD's will be on sale. Who knows, one may be given away....

Bio from The Doug Dank Project site :
Jay Edwards is the writer/director of Stomp! Shout! Scream! which has
screened at numerous film festivals and garnered enthusiastic reviews. "Stomp! Shout! Scream! does it better than American International Pictures ever did; as much fun as an episode of Hullabaloo -- snappy bouffants, earnest braniacs, hippy-hippy-shake and all!" said the Austin Chronicle . A professional television and film editor since 1991, Jay is currently editor and producer of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" for Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Jay's television credits also include documentaries for CNN and TBS, Cartoon Network's "Space Ghost Coast to Coast," and numerous promotional campaigns.

...Who's comin out?

Monday, October 09, 2006

Built To Spill

Live Concert on npr.org from Washington, DC.

Tomorrow night beginning at approx. 10pm with Camper Van Beethoven opening for them.

PWYC Night for Much Ado at Push Push


ARTISTS'/PIZZA NIGHT. PWYC (Pay What You Can) and Free Avondale Pizza Pies!

Featuring Randy Havens, Claire Christie, Zoe Cooper, Josh Ford, Brenda Norbeck, Dikran Tulaine, Kida Davis and Justin Welborn, Jennifer Bates, and Matt Nitchie.


Saturday, October 07, 2006

I paid for this?

Funerary Violins. Dueling violinists would, some believe, engage in improvised sessions of music where each would try to draw out more tragedy in a melody than the other. The "winner" was the one who got more people crying at the end of the show than the other.

I've seen improv comedy that's done the same thing. Make me want to cry. Then shove a phone up my ass. Just...Anything! God! Anything but this!

phone-up-ass joke credit to Leslie Sharp.
She once asked me to shove a regular sized land-line phone up her ass so she could feel something other than what she was feeling.

Friday, October 06, 2006

I am getting paranoid

Heat U. Spaniel just sent me an email with this subject:
Get out of the obese crowd!

Geeeez, i GET it!

I'm So Sorry

and You're So Welcome.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

It must be Fall

Because it's Too Hot For Summer.
ok, i'll embed.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ken Edelstein: Reader's Pick, Best Monologistificationizingility

Wednesday! Wednesday! Wednesday!

Push! Push!




"The other day, Creative Loafing Editor Ken Edelstein attended his first Atlanta Falcons game. Although his wife still thinks he's sticking to vegetarian food, he ate two hotdogs. Ken was, of course, born in Dalton, Ga., and naturally moved from there to Venezuela. He still remembers the time his sister bit him on the ear while they were riding a burro through their neighborhood in Caracas. He was three or four at the time. The furthest he has been from Atlanta is the panda reserve in Chengdu, China, where a man who spoke no English apparently mistook him for a zoologist and allowed him to pet one of them furry little critters. The hair was soft."


I've started the sneezing-while-holding-cup-of-hot-coffee-season, again.
MUST get more small tables to have around!

This is IKEA coffee.
Dan was overwhelmed by his first trip to IKEA, yesterday.
He bought a messenger bag/briefcase, and a pound of Swedish coffee.
While brewing, the coffee smells like cat pee.
The Swedish are hilarious pranksters, that's a given.

If I only knew of a good place to get those TABLES!

Sunday, October 01, 2006


Michelle, formerly of Ultrababyfat, is now in LUIGI. I LOVE this song, Penniliess. (you can download it there)
Here's a video for the sort of science-minded. Sort of.

It was AK's b-day when Ultrababyfat played at the Earl.
It was RP's b-day when Luigi played at the Earl.

What the cork is up?! Stop it! The aging thing. GOD!

oh and Happy Birthday you guys!

business imitating art

i got an audition for a voice over for another obese person.
i better be careful!
or i'm gonna get typecast! This one had these specs:
Character: LISA
Female in her late 30s or early 40s
Positive and believable
There should be a certain vulnerability to her, because she's been through the trauma of being morbidly obese and undertaking the drastic measure of gastric bypass surgery
Overall, she needs to read like the lady next door.
Our morbidly overweight audience needs to identify with her and be motivated to action by her delivery
hmmm, you know, the likeable, vulnerable, believable lady next door who's very positive about the fact that she's so big she can't leave her own house?
We all know THAT lady!
My first pass at it sounded, the truth, like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs who, ironically, tried to fatten women up. (song from the musical...oh god!)
I'm still working on this whole voiceover thing. I really probably shouldn't be contacted about anything that shouldn't be made fun of. Or is trying to help people. Or sell things.

Now i have to record me saying "mmmmm...hot stone massage, please."
I've already tried 5 times, and can't get through it.